Just thinking more about the whole ethical grounding veganism seems to give in my life. It is like a foundation which at it's core separates me from certain people as I said before. I feel like I've found a really positive set of values around compassionate living etc which I don't want to give up ever.
I feel I will keep looking after me and finding that way to disengage from others who may want to disrupt that where necessary. I feel my tattoo project is cool and I will look forward to getting that.
I feel separating myself is good and becoming more distinguished as being my own man. I can feel my intuition and that needing to pay attention to it and notice the signs that pop up every now and again around people and have the belief to keep acting on those.
I feel this weekend can be great with my SAFE work and also with meeting cool friends and reading, relaxing, maybe bit of video games. Catching up on sleep is all good too.
Friday 6 September 2013
Thursday 5 September 2013
thinking about the ethical stance as on facebook and the friends link
I think a lot about how Veganism has changed me in creating this real ethical foundation in my character. It's like it has grounded me and I feel kind of scared in the sense that a long term friend I don't feel as bothered about. I feel like it's created a real shift and like we are fundamentally very different. I guess the link with the spiritual development group and that real grounding of compassion as the source. Eating meat is Psychopathic. That real blindness and just refusing to look. That just trying to crowd over other people rather than the foundation of peace.
I feel I got through the phonecall all day and will keep my foundation there as well as I can and keep monitoring it on here. I do still feel very veganly sane. It links with my no drinking thing too I guess.
I feel I got through the phonecall all day and will keep my foundation there as well as I can and keep monitoring it on here. I do still feel very veganly sane. It links with my no drinking thing too I guess.
Friday 30 August 2013
3 hours to leaving. 30.8.13
Few hours to I go now. Stuff is all packed up. It has been a great trip. I had a dream last night whereby me and my family were going up the stairs of somewhere filling with water. I felt some fear like it was associated with the current issues with Syria. The water stopped when we got near the top and we had to wait there. It was a strange dream, not really horrible though.
I slept quite well last night with a bit of the electricity jolt type thing again which I do feel relates lots to my Vegan and not drinking life. It seems in particular maybe as I haven't been drinking at times I would've been doing in the past. It feels good though. Rather than heading into meaniglessness and numbing feelingds it's becoming more aware.
Last night I could look at my list and people to catch up with and know I'd seen everyone. Similarly I could reflect on how I felt happy about how I'd kept my Vegan sanity and related my Veganism with everyone well. Getting a friend the book because I felt they could be interested and sharing Vegan food with people. I really do feel I've found a part of my soul which was always lacking before.
On the tattoo front I felt last night I could almost go ahead with the one design I have now really. I'll just see what comes up over the next two weeks then will book in again. I will get it done soon. The labyrinth and sun shows a lot for me and just that desire to have a cool tattoo of meaning is all good now. That one design is 'good enough' I feel for sure. I'll see what else comes up then make a decision. I do hope for one more design of the labyrinth and sun then to go ahead.
I feel I took a risk maybe to send NZ friend Diet for a New America but feel even if it serves just as deflection it's worth it. It concerns me that as I become more connected and if he keeps going on about eating animals as acceptable then we will drift further. I need to keep cultivating and finding my way well.
I feel kind of good about the trip back and how I can make a good week. I want to make some plans and hope this writing can be ongoing to all parts of my mental health, particularly Vegan sanity but also around drinking, running and whatever else comes up. It feels good to think of the next few months and continuing this writing process.
Will add that I've really been enjoying reading 'The Lucky Ones'. Really attaches us more to that deeper meaning.
I slept quite well last night with a bit of the electricity jolt type thing again which I do feel relates lots to my Vegan and not drinking life. It seems in particular maybe as I haven't been drinking at times I would've been doing in the past. It feels good though. Rather than heading into meaniglessness and numbing feelingds it's becoming more aware.
Last night I could look at my list and people to catch up with and know I'd seen everyone. Similarly I could reflect on how I felt happy about how I'd kept my Vegan sanity and related my Veganism with everyone well. Getting a friend the book because I felt they could be interested and sharing Vegan food with people. I really do feel I've found a part of my soul which was always lacking before.
On the tattoo front I felt last night I could almost go ahead with the one design I have now really. I'll just see what comes up over the next two weeks then will book in again. I will get it done soon. The labyrinth and sun shows a lot for me and just that desire to have a cool tattoo of meaning is all good now. That one design is 'good enough' I feel for sure. I'll see what else comes up then make a decision. I do hope for one more design of the labyrinth and sun then to go ahead.
I feel I took a risk maybe to send NZ friend Diet for a New America but feel even if it serves just as deflection it's worth it. It concerns me that as I become more connected and if he keeps going on about eating animals as acceptable then we will drift further. I need to keep cultivating and finding my way well.
I feel kind of good about the trip back and how I can make a good week. I want to make some plans and hope this writing can be ongoing to all parts of my mental health, particularly Vegan sanity but also around drinking, running and whatever else comes up. It feels good to think of the next few months and continuing this writing process.
Will add that I've really been enjoying reading 'The Lucky Ones'. Really attaches us more to that deeper meaning.
Thursday 29 August 2013
Saying bye to Gran and accepting folks drive to airport
Said bye to Gran tonight which was sad but not too sad. It was good I made the decision not to drive her home which seems like trying to make things sad which just isn't necessaary. I packed a few things and am getting some good feelings about what it will be like back in Auckland. Still a bit tense about the whole flight but know I'll be fine when I'm on there.
My folks spoke today about driving me to the airport so clear that's what they want and I feel happy going along with it really for their sake while being in good management of myself throughout and managing my emotions through it all. It has been a really great trip and I do hope to come back in 2 years. :) :) :)
My folks spoke today about driving me to the airport so clear that's what they want and I feel happy going along with it really for their sake while being in good management of myself throughout and managing my emotions through it all. It has been a really great trip and I do hope to come back in 2 years. :) :) :)
Farewell dinner out. 28.8.13
Had a great dinner out at Purplse Pakora again with Mum, Dad, sister and Gran. Was a really great curry again. I had a vegetable dansak the same as last time. Was really great. No issues whatsoever throughout the whole of the day again regarding being Vegan. It would seem the mission to be veganly sane throughout my trip has gone really well. There are no other major challenges expected. It has been much much better than expected and just a new journey of my experience as a Vegan to actually come back and be comfortable with me being Vegan.
Today (29.8) I thought a lot about my friendship with my long term NZ friend and the rift my being Vegan has caused but I know that it is right and I will keep cultivating myself well with my spiritual development group to develop my compassion well and my Vegan friends to get that support to keep making the right decision forward whatever that is.
It has been a wonderful trip. Last night I really enjoyed not drinking alcohol again although I did feel some temptation I really realised as I slept so peacefully (that was it, peace, a profound sense of peace) that it was a really great thing to not drink alcohol. I am crowding it out. Love and Peace as a friend sometimes says on her messages. I have more of a sense of that now.
Today is feeling somewhat stressful as I'll have my bye to make to Gran. I feel not taking her home is best to stop it being too sad. That holding on to that last moment doesn't seem right to me. I'm not sure if I'm cutting off emotion. It rather just seems emotionally responsible. I'm really thinking that getting a taxi tomorrow would be best too. I'm going to introduce that later. Again I just don't like making it sad unnecessarily. It feels weird and not appropriate. I just want to obviously feel what's important to feel but have that good adapatation to change, like I've had a great time and we're all moving on with life and all understanding. That seems the way.
Today (29.8) I thought a lot about my friendship with my long term NZ friend and the rift my being Vegan has caused but I know that it is right and I will keep cultivating myself well with my spiritual development group to develop my compassion well and my Vegan friends to get that support to keep making the right decision forward whatever that is.
It has been a wonderful trip. Last night I really enjoyed not drinking alcohol again although I did feel some temptation I really realised as I slept so peacefully (that was it, peace, a profound sense of peace) that it was a really great thing to not drink alcohol. I am crowding it out. Love and Peace as a friend sometimes says on her messages. I have more of a sense of that now.
Today is feeling somewhat stressful as I'll have my bye to make to Gran. I feel not taking her home is best to stop it being too sad. That holding on to that last moment doesn't seem right to me. I'm not sure if I'm cutting off emotion. It rather just seems emotionally responsible. I'm really thinking that getting a taxi tomorrow would be best too. I'm going to introduce that later. Again I just don't like making it sad unnecessarily. It feels weird and not appropriate. I just want to obviously feel what's important to feel but have that good adapatation to change, like I've had a great time and we're all moving on with life and all understanding. That seems the way.
Wednesday 28 August 2013
28 August so far. dentist and my new tattoo design
Well the day started off by getting a sample tattoo design, see above. I'm just letting it sit with me for a while. It all seemed more real when it came through. I want it to have a labyrinth but wasn't sure of that one on the design at first but now thinking it could be good. I wanted it to have the native american sun symbol with the seven rays but wanted it to look organic too. It looked a bit bland just as it was originally. This has 7 rays which are longer and I do particularly like the dotted artwork. The labyrinth again will embrace birth death rebirth and progress. the traditional sun symbolises similar things but the particular native american sun is about peace and the healing arts. I'm wondering if it has enough of that in. I'm going to cancel my appointment on monday anyway but I'll get a new design coming through too with the other labyrinth design. I'm going to sit on it a bit to make sure it's just right. I want to make sure it is really what I want.
Went to the dentist and got 2 fillings. Never a great experience but glad it's out of the way. i think the anaesthetic has made me feel a bit odd too. Didn't sleep so well or so long last night either. I was up late last night and kind of needed a bit more time to rest. I really want to wrap up my trip nicely and make a smoothe transition back. It's been a lovely trip with no Vegan issues.
As I write again I hear my parents looking at my new book I mentioned in the last post and discussing the cruelty of debeaking. It's great they're getting more aware. 'They have no right debeaking them' were my Dad's words. Good on him.
Tuesday 27 August 2013
Tattoo update
Well I've been booked in to get my tattoo since before I came here. I was due to get it on Monday next week in the morning. I've been excited but never heard back from the Tattoo artist in the first 2 weeks of August as expected. I had mailed a few times and never heard back. I was actually going to mail to cancel and say I was a little disappointed not to hear. I'm glad I didn't do that. I decided to phone and she said she had been ridiculously busy. Although she didn't say as much it seemed that she had somehow forgot about my appointment next monday. I will now get the design in the next few days then will cancel my appointment and sit with the design. I still hope to get it in good time before the marathon. I wanted it when I got back really but a bit later will be okay. I thought it would've been a nice coming back treat and affirmation somehow but nevermind.
I was thinking it may not be meaning to be but it still seems most likely on the cards and I'll just keep following myself with it all and what feels right. I've been tempted to mention it to people but have barely done at all other than my tattood friends really when it's come up. I guess it is very personal and individual. I do feel like I'll be more me somehow. Not something to rush into. I wish it could've been sorted by now but now it seems best to get the design and really get it sorted aiming for over the next month or so. :)
Anyone like to share anything about their tattooing experiences? Any tattoos with particular meanings to you?
I was thinking it may not be meaning to be but it still seems most likely on the cards and I'll just keep following myself with it all and what feels right. I've been tempted to mention it to people but have barely done at all other than my tattood friends really when it's come up. I guess it is very personal and individual. I do feel like I'll be more me somehow. Not something to rush into. I wish it could've been sorted by now but now it seems best to get the design and really get it sorted aiming for over the next month or so. :)
Anyone like to share anything about their tattooing experiences? Any tattoos with particular meanings to you?
27 August. Saying bye to 2 people
Today I met an old good friend and we went for a walk out again. I was able to take over some Vegan cake for him and his girlfriend which felt cool just to express that sharing of Vegan stuff and to be integrated and involving and promoting. It was strange as I guess at the end it was a saying bye really. We hadn't seen eqach other for 4.5 years until this last month and now it will likely be atleast another couple. There was a handshake. he's not a man hug type of guy and that's okay. I felt good in the sense of being a person now who can cope and work well with change. I think of Tao masters I've met who have this overall connection to things and seem able to understand more that fundamental idea that change is the only constant. I'm getting better at that it seems but I'm not there yet. I'm hoping to feel that in the rest of my trip as I finish off.
At night I visited a cool girl -friend. We joke we are like brother and sister. I felt sadder leaving her than my friend earlier but it was all good on the whole. I do feel it's important not to make it too sad. We had some nice times and we'll keep in contact. We have good affinity with one another I believe and we'll meet when we're meant to.
She said thanks for Diet for a New America but doesn't want to read the factory farm stuff. That's all good and fair. She is vegetarian anyway. Hopefully she'll enjoy the health stuff.
As I write this it's interesting over hearing my folks and sister talk. My Dad is speaking about the cruelty of the current killing of badgers for supposedly weeing on hey causing the cows to get ill. My Dad is saying why can't it be just fenced off properly rather than shooting them. My sister's reply was 'we need to all just become vegan'. It's cool to hear that as I write this as sad as it is.
I've started to The Lucky Ones by Jenny Brown. A very Veganesque book. About a lady's fight to help farm animals. It makes me so sad that so many people aren't able to open their eyes more. Again thinking back to the blog post about the hardest thing about being Vegan.
At night I visited a cool girl -friend. We joke we are like brother and sister. I felt sadder leaving her than my friend earlier but it was all good on the whole. I do feel it's important not to make it too sad. We had some nice times and we'll keep in contact. We have good affinity with one another I believe and we'll meet when we're meant to.
She said thanks for Diet for a New America but doesn't want to read the factory farm stuff. That's all good and fair. She is vegetarian anyway. Hopefully she'll enjoy the health stuff.
As I write this it's interesting over hearing my folks and sister talk. My Dad is speaking about the cruelty of the current killing of badgers for supposedly weeing on hey causing the cows to get ill. My Dad is saying why can't it be just fenced off properly rather than shooting them. My sister's reply was 'we need to all just become vegan'. It's cool to hear that as I write this as sad as it is.
I've started to The Lucky Ones by Jenny Brown. A very Veganesque book. About a lady's fight to help farm animals. It makes me so sad that so many people aren't able to open their eyes more. Again thinking back to the blog post about the hardest thing about being Vegan.
Monday 26 August 2013
Monday 26th. Run. Meeting an old friend. Football, football culture, ego and now Vegan
Today I met with an old friend at 2pm for a drink in the pub. I stuck with soft drinks (see my other blog). I chatted with him and his girlfriend which was really cool. The only vegan thing that came up was him saying so I hear youre Vegan now. I just said yeah it's been a lifestyle change in the last year and it's worked out really well. There wasn't any judgement and it was just nice.
I got out for a run after. See my run blog. That went well.
Later I went to the football with my Dad. The first match for 4.5 years. It was funny how a lot went through my mind. I enjoyed the match. An interesting 0-0 draw and nice to be at my childhood teams ground 'Old Trafford' again.
I thought back to a few days ago when a friend posted something on the Vegan page of football fans celebrating with a slogan along the lines of 'how great would it be if these people could be so passionate about something that truly meant something'.
It made me think about what a big part of my life football has been. Getting so excited, in tears over matches and now I truly feel I have accessed a deeper part of me. The excitement is still there for football but I kind of realise there's something so ego about it. I feel there must be some soul in the art form but I feel 99% of what all fans feel is all about ego. I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant but it's my observation. It's all about attachment to. The excitement of the goal and winning.
It's strange to feel back on all that part of my life and wonder if it was all just a waste. What did it really mean in the great scheme of things. It was cool but maybe a lot was just surface that I misunderstood as having real depth. I thought of everyone in Old Trafford. Likely people who ate meat regularly. The small proportion of Vegans and that brainwashed mentality of giving it no thought at all but looking away.
In my spiritual development group we speak of working with the heart (subduing it) and that makes sense. Being vegan helps that so is such a great grounding in life. It stops that attachment to things like football for me I guess. I thought about the SAFE campaign of people holding the dead birds which I couldn't go to and made me think that that's what truly means something and a key to truly make a difference, by altering the foundations of how we eat.
Life is changing so much now. It's so weird to think of all the football arguments and the stupid dramas around it when it should never be like that. Great to really be looking at spiritual teachings and people like Gandhi and Einstein for what's important. I love how they talk about vegetarianism. It does seem like my Veganism is something so true in m life that really makes sense.
I got out for a run after. See my run blog. That went well.
Later I went to the football with my Dad. The first match for 4.5 years. It was funny how a lot went through my mind. I enjoyed the match. An interesting 0-0 draw and nice to be at my childhood teams ground 'Old Trafford' again.
I thought back to a few days ago when a friend posted something on the Vegan page of football fans celebrating with a slogan along the lines of 'how great would it be if these people could be so passionate about something that truly meant something'.
It made me think about what a big part of my life football has been. Getting so excited, in tears over matches and now I truly feel I have accessed a deeper part of me. The excitement is still there for football but I kind of realise there's something so ego about it. I feel there must be some soul in the art form but I feel 99% of what all fans feel is all about ego. I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant but it's my observation. It's all about attachment to. The excitement of the goal and winning.
It's strange to feel back on all that part of my life and wonder if it was all just a waste. What did it really mean in the great scheme of things. It was cool but maybe a lot was just surface that I misunderstood as having real depth. I thought of everyone in Old Trafford. Likely people who ate meat regularly. The small proportion of Vegans and that brainwashed mentality of giving it no thought at all but looking away.
In my spiritual development group we speak of working with the heart (subduing it) and that makes sense. Being vegan helps that so is such a great grounding in life. It stops that attachment to things like football for me I guess. I thought about the SAFE campaign of people holding the dead birds which I couldn't go to and made me think that that's what truly means something and a key to truly make a difference, by altering the foundations of how we eat.
Life is changing so much now. It's so weird to think of all the football arguments and the stupid dramas around it when it should never be like that. Great to really be looking at spiritual teachings and people like Gandhi and Einstein for what's important. I love how they talk about vegetarianism. It does seem like my Veganism is something so true in m life that really makes sense.
Sunday 25 August 2013
23rd to 25th. Trip to Newcastle
Arrived and my friend had made a Vegan curry which was great. I was really grateful for their consideration and thanked them for this. There were only a few questions just asking about my becoming vegan and I was able to be very cool and calm about it. It was good that at no point did I feel I was being hassled or anything. It was interesting how they mentioned sometimes enjoying having some vegetarian food and mentioned too how one of their parents was quite anti vegan food if they were out and it was offered as an option... a kind of but none of us are vegetarian kind of response. It made me think again of that quite rigid thinking. I think too of the idea that eating meat is in fact a cult. I'm thinking this could be a topic to write more about. My friend in NZ had this same quite rigid thinking and is dominant in meat eating. I guess similarly without really knowing why and being closed to change. The meat eating cult again.
The next day we had a lunch out and it was easy for me to veganise a salad I had without the cheese that would've come with it. They had some soy milk in which was good so I was able to have some nice cereal and fruit which was cool. I appreciated that. My friends ate meat but I felt cool and happy that they were doing their thing and being respectful to mine.
It's interesting again though as deep down I don't ultimately respect people actually eating meat. well I respect the people but I don't feel they are aware enough to make the best choice. I've tried to understand this and I guess it's fair for me to understand and respect where people are at right now and that I can help them move forward. I get upset when people are judgemental of my Veganism when I guess I'm the same about them but the thing is it isn't each to their own as I've said before. We are leading the movement forward. Is it self righteous? well it's certainly righteous but I think self -righteous is a negative term. As Vegans we do guide the way forward for the way to eat. It's something I firmly believe doesn't have a counter argument ultimately, like Feminism doesn't or equal rights for black and white people doesn't. It's a positive social movement and we are pioneering this change. It's that responsibility I need to keep coming to terms with and proudly take on board as part of my responsibility to the world.
On Saturday night I made a curry from the step by step menu from the Revive book which was great and I sent them the recipe when I got back. I hope that can help them a bit. I did say you could put other things into it as I felt that was best to be kind and not indoctrinating but hope they can make a choice to have a vegan day or to make some even minor steps in that direction.
I felt great on Saturday night to not drink alcohol and had just one the day before (more in my other blog). I had a few dreams too which I think were linked to this. Again in my other alcohol blog.
This morning I was able to get lunch at a coffee shop and veganise their vegetarian breakfast by having battered potato rather than an egg. Was happy I came through it all well. I got the train back feeling all cool and calm like it had been a very pleasant weekend.
The next day we had a lunch out and it was easy for me to veganise a salad I had without the cheese that would've come with it. They had some soy milk in which was good so I was able to have some nice cereal and fruit which was cool. I appreciated that. My friends ate meat but I felt cool and happy that they were doing their thing and being respectful to mine.
It's interesting again though as deep down I don't ultimately respect people actually eating meat. well I respect the people but I don't feel they are aware enough to make the best choice. I've tried to understand this and I guess it's fair for me to understand and respect where people are at right now and that I can help them move forward. I get upset when people are judgemental of my Veganism when I guess I'm the same about them but the thing is it isn't each to their own as I've said before. We are leading the movement forward. Is it self righteous? well it's certainly righteous but I think self -righteous is a negative term. As Vegans we do guide the way forward for the way to eat. It's something I firmly believe doesn't have a counter argument ultimately, like Feminism doesn't or equal rights for black and white people doesn't. It's a positive social movement and we are pioneering this change. It's that responsibility I need to keep coming to terms with and proudly take on board as part of my responsibility to the world.
On Saturday night I made a curry from the step by step menu from the Revive book which was great and I sent them the recipe when I got back. I hope that can help them a bit. I did say you could put other things into it as I felt that was best to be kind and not indoctrinating but hope they can make a choice to have a vegan day or to make some even minor steps in that direction.
I felt great on Saturday night to not drink alcohol and had just one the day before (more in my other blog). I had a few dreams too which I think were linked to this. Again in my other alcohol blog.
This morning I was able to get lunch at a coffee shop and veganise their vegetarian breakfast by having battered potato rather than an egg. Was happy I came through it all well. I got the train back feeling all cool and calm like it had been a very pleasant weekend.
Thursday 22 August 2013
22 August. Day out with family. Meal out at night
Had a great day out at a farm and at Tatton Park with the family. Ate good Vegan food throughout and enjoyed just connecting and feeling good and calm and patient throughout. The evening had a few interesting Vegan moments while all being great. We ate at a pizza place and I met a couple of old friends I hadn't seen for ages. I knew there were Vegan options so expressed before that the choice was all good with me.
I gave my order and asked for all to be Vegan and felt totally comfortable in me doing so. At the table my person to the left offered me some 'baby lamb' as a joke. Again it's strange how horrible it is to write but I know he totally didn't mean it in a horrible way. He's just not awake yet. My friends also had a mini chat about working at a fish market in Australia 10 years ago I was there too. They then kind of apologised part way through. I realised they were genuinely trying to be cool and sensitive but I actually worked there too and was able to say it was okay and actually chip in with a silly thing that happened to me while I worked there when a dead fish somehow slapped me on the face. Again gross to write now but it was funny at the time and fitted the tone.
I very comfortable had soft drinks all night probably the first time I've done that and feeling comfortable in me to do that was really cool. See my drinking blog for bit more detail.
In a pub later on there were beer mats unusually saying about what nutritional value you could get from eating insects. I didn't want to get into makor evolution discussion etc but my friend asked what I thought and I said it would seem to make sense that since we descended from apes that in the past eating insects could prove useful and be easily digested. Seemed fair enough.
We had a chat too about my Vegan cake I'd brought over to a friends house. It was again interesting as my friend spoke again totally from a good heart about if you could tell the difference and then wondering if it would be different from a 'normal cake'. It's funny how we learn to see that a chickens period in a cake is normality. Again not berating him at all, not coming from a bad place in anyway but just seeing things from that omnivore angle while making efforts. all in all a great Vegan evening. :)
I gave my order and asked for all to be Vegan and felt totally comfortable in me doing so. At the table my person to the left offered me some 'baby lamb' as a joke. Again it's strange how horrible it is to write but I know he totally didn't mean it in a horrible way. He's just not awake yet. My friends also had a mini chat about working at a fish market in Australia 10 years ago I was there too. They then kind of apologised part way through. I realised they were genuinely trying to be cool and sensitive but I actually worked there too and was able to say it was okay and actually chip in with a silly thing that happened to me while I worked there when a dead fish somehow slapped me on the face. Again gross to write now but it was funny at the time and fitted the tone.
I very comfortable had soft drinks all night probably the first time I've done that and feeling comfortable in me to do that was really cool. See my drinking blog for bit more detail.
In a pub later on there were beer mats unusually saying about what nutritional value you could get from eating insects. I didn't want to get into makor evolution discussion etc but my friend asked what I thought and I said it would seem to make sense that since we descended from apes that in the past eating insects could prove useful and be easily digested. Seemed fair enough.
We had a chat too about my Vegan cake I'd brought over to a friends house. It was again interesting as my friend spoke again totally from a good heart about if you could tell the difference and then wondering if it would be different from a 'normal cake'. It's funny how we learn to see that a chickens period in a cake is normality. Again not berating him at all, not coming from a bad place in anyway but just seeing things from that omnivore angle while making efforts. all in all a great Vegan evening. :)
Wednesday 21 August 2013
end of 21 August
Had an incredibly powerful day today and felt emotional at the end. I had a good walk out today with Ric and took some great photos. It was later on when our family friends came over. We had a load of Vegan food and shared. I was asked as usual about being Vegan which was all cool. I'd bought my Dad 'Diet for a new america' and it was interesting how my Dad actually started to talk about how cruelly animals were treated and how we just turned a blind eye to it and talked about cows getting killed and how horrible it was.
My sister said she never knew he cared so much afterwards. My Mum said how he'd always loved animals. My sister and me then had a conversation about bringing a kid up Vegan which I said I thought was right and for me would be a no brainer. My Dad then said about how sad it was but how it wouldn't make a difference if we stopped eating them. I said how it would and how it would keep spreading outwards which was positive. My Mum then said about she looks at it as each to there own and I explained about it being like a movement similar to how Feminist movement helped women to get the vote and it was about helping others to see clearer.
I felt it was all cool and a good Vegan promoting evening mentally for everyone.
My sister said she never knew he cared so much afterwards. My Mum said how he'd always loved animals. My sister and me then had a conversation about bringing a kid up Vegan which I said I thought was right and for me would be a no brainer. My Dad then said about how sad it was but how it wouldn't make a difference if we stopped eating them. I said how it would and how it would keep spreading outwards which was positive. My Mum then said about she looks at it as each to there own and I explained about it being like a movement similar to how Feminist movement helped women to get the vote and it was about helping others to see clearer.
I felt it was all cool and a good Vegan promoting evening mentally for everyone.
20 August
Had a great 3.5 hour run. see details on my marathon blog. Felt good and energised.
Had a nice evening with Kelly at the comedy night again. Enjoyed eating lots of good Vegan food throughout the day.
Had a nice evening with Kelly at the comedy night again. Enjoyed eating lots of good Vegan food throughout the day.
Tuesday 20 August 2013
19 August
On a trip out with the family to Castleton for a trip through the caves. Named comically 'The Devil's arse'. Was all really good and was nice to spend time with Gran particularly. Had loads of good Vegan food throughout the day and constantly feel stocked up on all the goodness I need and finding out more about nutrition etc which is always really enjoyable.
I read some of my You can do it Marathon book which I feel is definitely going to help me come through Auckland Marathon on 1 November. I also got some DHA pills delivered after doing quite a bit of research and realising a top up of this could be a healthy option for me at this point to be sure i'm really getting all I need.
It's been great how becoming Vegan has really gone hand in hand with constant interest and research into food and nutrition while at the same time enjoyiing cooking too (the cooking part atleast while I'm in NZ anyway)
I'm thinking when I get back to NZ I will be getting onto the Thrive diet idea by Brendan Brazier to help all the marathon stuff. I can tell how since I saw my folks last I am calmer and more compassionate. I know i have cultivated well in NZ. I feel it's my personal development group and then becoming Vegan which are key. Food really is thy medicine. I think too of that great study about the Vegan diet being used in a prison to great effect. It does seem like it constantly just filters out of my being :)
I read some of my You can do it Marathon book which I feel is definitely going to help me come through Auckland Marathon on 1 November. I also got some DHA pills delivered after doing quite a bit of research and realising a top up of this could be a healthy option for me at this point to be sure i'm really getting all I need.
It's been great how becoming Vegan has really gone hand in hand with constant interest and research into food and nutrition while at the same time enjoyiing cooking too (the cooking part atleast while I'm in NZ anyway)
I'm thinking when I get back to NZ I will be getting onto the Thrive diet idea by Brendan Brazier to help all the marathon stuff. I can tell how since I saw my folks last I am calmer and more compassionate. I know i have cultivated well in NZ. I feel it's my personal development group and then becoming Vegan which are key. Food really is thy medicine. I think too of that great study about the Vegan diet being used in a prison to great effect. It does seem like it constantly just filters out of my being :)
Sunday 18 August 2013
18 August
Today I enjoyed meeting with Kelly for a good walk around Ashton and was good to talk a bit about Vegan life. In the evening I went to the Tao group in Sale and enjoyed chatting to Andrew. Was all pretty cool. Again just talking about Veganism was good. In the middle of the day I enjoyed getting some almonds and some brazil nuts. I love learning about nutrition and it was interesting reading about selenium and how a great source of this is brazil nuts. I'll start eating more.
Feeling pretty veganly sane for sure. Want to get more chia seed at some stage too. I've missed cooking a bit but overall has been nice to have family cook for me as a change for a while.
Feeling pretty veganly sane for sure. Want to get more chia seed at some stage too. I've missed cooking a bit but overall has been nice to have family cook for me as a change for a while.
17 August 2013. Meeting with 2 friends
Met with Stuart. He was just politely interested in my Veganism which was pretty cool. He told me openly about some things he enjoyed to eat such as duck eggs. He seemed interested in the whole idea how I'd got into Veganism from the personal development group as an idea of compassionate living. I could reflect on how my life has deepened since I moved away and became Vegan and how I got involved with the spiritual development group.
Met with another friend in the evening. I noticed a lot more here from the Vegan angle. I could think a lot again about the hardest part about being Vegan as quoted in the other post I did. How he's a great person but really doesn't think much about eating animals at all as I never did. I thought of a friends post on Facebook about Veganism not being a cult but actually meat eating being a cult since it is what we are just told to be true from being born as Vegan then not really knowing why we are doing it but defending it.
He by no means had a go at me in any sense, we are friends and he's a respectful guy but it was interesting how eating meat is just part of who he is and the things he said as I wrote in my other post about a friends partner eating folie gras sound narcissistic when written but I know from their tone it is just a blindness and a lack of awareness. This friend is a smart guy, smarter than me but yet was not able to see or morally engage on that level.
He mentioned how on Facebook lots of my friends seemed 'quite extreme' in their views. He mentioned about an animal 'not being a person, they don't have the same developed consciousness'. I let this go and he was being fun and jokey but while meaning it and I guess missing the point that this lesser consciousness doesn't mean they don't have a right to live since they clearly want to and we don't need to eat them. Again the whole idea of Vegans being extreme is funny to me now as I think of us eating a load of stuff that grows then think of images of a slaughter house.mmmmm which one is extreme ?
Similarly he mentioned at one point certain animals 'being useful to us'. I guess again a very speciesist attitude but more ingrained as his normal. I noticed too how he mentioned about some friends being vegetarian so didn't mind vegetarian food every now and again but didn't like having more than one vegan meal in a row as he would 'start to feel weak'. Again very interesting perception. The idea that somehow we need meat and it makes us strong. Again the complete brainwashed cult mentality we are just indoctrinated with which contains no truth.
Overall a very interesting day of seeing how Veganism plays out.
Met with another friend in the evening. I noticed a lot more here from the Vegan angle. I could think a lot again about the hardest part about being Vegan as quoted in the other post I did. How he's a great person but really doesn't think much about eating animals at all as I never did. I thought of a friends post on Facebook about Veganism not being a cult but actually meat eating being a cult since it is what we are just told to be true from being born as Vegan then not really knowing why we are doing it but defending it.
He by no means had a go at me in any sense, we are friends and he's a respectful guy but it was interesting how eating meat is just part of who he is and the things he said as I wrote in my other post about a friends partner eating folie gras sound narcissistic when written but I know from their tone it is just a blindness and a lack of awareness. This friend is a smart guy, smarter than me but yet was not able to see or morally engage on that level.
He mentioned how on Facebook lots of my friends seemed 'quite extreme' in their views. He mentioned about an animal 'not being a person, they don't have the same developed consciousness'. I let this go and he was being fun and jokey but while meaning it and I guess missing the point that this lesser consciousness doesn't mean they don't have a right to live since they clearly want to and we don't need to eat them. Again the whole idea of Vegans being extreme is funny to me now as I think of us eating a load of stuff that grows then think of images of a slaughter house.mmmmm which one is extreme ?
Similarly he mentioned at one point certain animals 'being useful to us'. I guess again a very speciesist attitude but more ingrained as his normal. I noticed too how he mentioned about some friends being vegetarian so didn't mind vegetarian food every now and again but didn't like having more than one vegan meal in a row as he would 'start to feel weak'. Again very interesting perception. The idea that somehow we need meat and it makes us strong. Again the complete brainwashed cult mentality we are just indoctrinated with which contains no truth.
Overall a very interesting day of seeing how Veganism plays out.
Saturday 17 August 2013
rest of 16 August
Had a great one hour run last night and dinner leftovers with some potatoes. Spent time in the evening relaxing and reading my new running book by Jeff Galloway which seemed really inspiring. I spoke to people from the Manchester Tao group which was good so may see them on sunday I think could be cool. Today I'm about to go and meet with Stuart and will see Dave later. Will likely have a couple of halves. Still rather not drink at all but it is being phased out. All linking with my new blogs I started yesterday as I prepare for my first marathon and doing it as a Vegan person and giving up alcohol.
Friday 16 August 2013
15th night and 16th morning
Had an interesting night out with 2 friends last night. Was actually good on the whole while making me realise I'm in that phase of just becoming more strongly Vegan over time and becoming the new me more and more. We went to 3 pubs and I have to just admit I didn't feel strongly enough in my new identity to not drink alcohol although did my best to search for Vegan beers. Whereas I'm confortable on the whole as a Vegan I'm not comfortable in my pretty much non drinking self. That's something that's still developing.
I had a bottle of Peroni and 2 bottles on Tiger. I knew Tiger was Vegan and found out today Peroni was which made me happy. The atmosphere was actually really pleasant and I wasn't drunk enough to fall into silly arguments. I imagine if my other friend from NZ had been there that could've happenend. I'm just a bit annoyed I didn't feel good enough to go for a run today. I feel though maybe between now and my next visit here I will more solidify myself as a non drinker I feel and hope anyway. Whereas I do enjoy the little buzz to some degree it is something I have crowded out and just enjoy the feeling without it more and my greater sense of clarity e.g. going for a run this morning would've felt good.
While out I was asked about if I stopped buying stuff like leather which I replied I had. There was a bit of conversation happened to come up somehow about animals being killed and I was able to mention Earthlings. Not in an indoctrinating way but just a passing on of information. I said I would recommend anyone watch it once. It seems it planted the seed.
It was interesting as I really noticed the whole thing I read in this blog 'The hardest thing about being vegan' about well meaning people just not being interested or being blinded to think it's okay to eat animals. In a totally non narcissistic way as we briefly discussed Earthings my friend asked what animals you see being killed and I said about the cows, chickens etc. My friend said jokingly, oh just ones that are food then.
It was really interesting. My friend is just a really good guy and writing this now makes it sound like a deliberate cruel thing to say but I could tell from the way he said it there wasn't any knowing genuine malice at all in his voice or attitude. He just hasn't woke up yet.
we walked around and my friends made a couple of jokes about the different shops such as the cheese shop which I would have no use for. All of this actually felt pretty good natured humour which didn't bother me. I was happy though I hadn't drank more and another friend wasnt there as I think I could've potentially bought into more of an argument which he no doubt would've pushed so I'll be careful when I see him back in NZ.
My friend also told me about his girlfriend having a Folie Gras burger. I couldn't remember what it was but then remembered. He joked about how this is made. It really saddens me writing this because again I know he's not a malicious person at all but is just completely desensitised to this and just sees it as the norm as so many others do. I kind of shrugged it off with a joke 'Noooooo!!!'
I hope between now and my next trip I can become stronger in me as a Vegan and in my non drinker identity. That seems the way forward. Although drinking isn't non vegan it somehow seems to go hand in hand to work to eliminate it due to being more conscious and spiritual perhaps. Maybe then I can be a better Vegan advocate too and be taken more seriously. All a step at a time I guess.
I'm happy I definitely won't be drinking alcohol today.
I had a bottle of Peroni and 2 bottles on Tiger. I knew Tiger was Vegan and found out today Peroni was which made me happy. The atmosphere was actually really pleasant and I wasn't drunk enough to fall into silly arguments. I imagine if my other friend from NZ had been there that could've happenend. I'm just a bit annoyed I didn't feel good enough to go for a run today. I feel though maybe between now and my next visit here I will more solidify myself as a non drinker I feel and hope anyway. Whereas I do enjoy the little buzz to some degree it is something I have crowded out and just enjoy the feeling without it more and my greater sense of clarity e.g. going for a run this morning would've felt good.
While out I was asked about if I stopped buying stuff like leather which I replied I had. There was a bit of conversation happened to come up somehow about animals being killed and I was able to mention Earthlings. Not in an indoctrinating way but just a passing on of information. I said I would recommend anyone watch it once. It seems it planted the seed.
It was interesting as I really noticed the whole thing I read in this blog 'The hardest thing about being vegan' about well meaning people just not being interested or being blinded to think it's okay to eat animals. In a totally non narcissistic way as we briefly discussed Earthings my friend asked what animals you see being killed and I said about the cows, chickens etc. My friend said jokingly, oh just ones that are food then.
It was really interesting. My friend is just a really good guy and writing this now makes it sound like a deliberate cruel thing to say but I could tell from the way he said it there wasn't any knowing genuine malice at all in his voice or attitude. He just hasn't woke up yet.
we walked around and my friends made a couple of jokes about the different shops such as the cheese shop which I would have no use for. All of this actually felt pretty good natured humour which didn't bother me. I was happy though I hadn't drank more and another friend wasnt there as I think I could've potentially bought into more of an argument which he no doubt would've pushed so I'll be careful when I see him back in NZ.
My friend also told me about his girlfriend having a Folie Gras burger. I couldn't remember what it was but then remembered. He joked about how this is made. It really saddens me writing this because again I know he's not a malicious person at all but is just completely desensitised to this and just sees it as the norm as so many others do. I kind of shrugged it off with a joke 'Noooooo!!!'
I hope between now and my next trip I can become stronger in me as a Vegan and in my non drinker identity. That seems the way forward. Although drinking isn't non vegan it somehow seems to go hand in hand to work to eliminate it due to being more conscious and spiritual perhaps. Maybe then I can be a better Vegan advocate too and be taken more seriously. All a step at a time I guess.
I'm happy I definitely won't be drinking alcohol today.
Thursday 15 August 2013
14 August and bit of 15th (7:30 pm)
Had a relaxed evening last night watching 'The girl next door' which was fun. I was feeling not so great I think it was hayfever so had a pill. Today again I've felt a little bored and missed NZ a bit. I spoke with my Doctor to see if I could get a DHA test and then had to explain to him what DHA was again showing how little Doctors know about nutrition and any kind of natural health. Was quite amusing but bad too. I managed to get some pills online for a good deal. It does seem like the body converts it to atleast some degree but Vegan experts sometimes recommend a supplement too. I figure you can't be too careful and do value my own piece of mind
http://www.nuique.com/omega3/
http://veganhealth.org/
Here are a couple of links. One is to get the DHA pills and the other is by Jack Norris who writes about Vegan nutrition, etc.
I met with Karl and Barbara today which was nice. Great to see them both again and treat them to lunch.
Meeting with Ric etc tonight which should be nice. I enjoyed connecting with a few Vegan friends on Facebook today. I didn't go out for a run as still not feeling 100% after last night.
Again I'm missing NZ and was good to get that feeling supported from a friend back in NZ. Really want to have a soft drink night again tonight. I just feel so much better like that.
Was good to send my latest ebay sales today. I do almost feel a bit lost for stuff to do at points. Tomorrow will be good to have another day out. It is all that not feeling an actual connection with being. My trip is all about seeing people.
I've booked my ticket to Newcastle and feel quite good with the upcoming plans and like I'm doing the best I can with my time here. It doesn't excite me unbelievably much but I am doing the best I can/ :)
http://www.nuique.com/omega3/
http://veganhealth.org/
Here are a couple of links. One is to get the DHA pills and the other is by Jack Norris who writes about Vegan nutrition, etc.
I met with Karl and Barbara today which was nice. Great to see them both again and treat them to lunch.
Meeting with Ric etc tonight which should be nice. I enjoyed connecting with a few Vegan friends on Facebook today. I didn't go out for a run as still not feeling 100% after last night.
Again I'm missing NZ and was good to get that feeling supported from a friend back in NZ. Really want to have a soft drink night again tonight. I just feel so much better like that.
Was good to send my latest ebay sales today. I do almost feel a bit lost for stuff to do at points. Tomorrow will be good to have another day out. It is all that not feeling an actual connection with being. My trip is all about seeing people.
I've booked my ticket to Newcastle and feel quite good with the upcoming plans and like I'm doing the best I can with my time here. It doesn't excite me unbelievably much but I am doing the best I can/ :)
Wednesday 14 August 2013
Tuesday 13 August and bit of 14 August
Don't think I did so much in the day time other than a bit of reading and using the computer. I got a little bored in fact and did a bit of reflecting using by dictaphone about how happy I am living in NZ while at the same time making the very very best of my trip here. I had a great evening with Kelly at the comedy night at Jabez Clegg. Was really funny. Again keeping completely and utterly veganly sane throughout has been great.
I'm writing this on 14 August and now I'm researching a bit into DHA and am getting a bloodtest to see mine is okay. I was reading some criticism on the internet of the China Study and although I don't wholly support that book I do feel the criticism was poor on the whole. Nonetheless I will keep researching. I kind of can't be bothered getting my DHA checked now but will go through with it and keep moving forward however. I do feel I would have really let myself down somehow if I ever stopped being Vegan. Being a good healthy member of the Vegan population is paramount to me.
It was good today (14th) to get out for a short run for 30 minutes and to think a bit about doing the marathon and doing a marathon blog. I've been thinking on my tattoo also and it does seem to be something I feel I have to go through with somehow. It just seems part of me becoming more me. I don't feel I'd get another after this one but this one does seem to make sense for me somehow.
I'm enjoying using my dictaphone more to record different thoughts around what's going on. Today we went to the caves in Stockport which were really cool and interesting.
I'm writing this on 14 August and now I'm researching a bit into DHA and am getting a bloodtest to see mine is okay. I was reading some criticism on the internet of the China Study and although I don't wholly support that book I do feel the criticism was poor on the whole. Nonetheless I will keep researching. I kind of can't be bothered getting my DHA checked now but will go through with it and keep moving forward however. I do feel I would have really let myself down somehow if I ever stopped being Vegan. Being a good healthy member of the Vegan population is paramount to me.
It was good today (14th) to get out for a short run for 30 minutes and to think a bit about doing the marathon and doing a marathon blog. I've been thinking on my tattoo also and it does seem to be something I feel I have to go through with somehow. It just seems part of me becoming more me. I don't feel I'd get another after this one but this one does seem to make sense for me somehow.
I'm enjoying using my dictaphone more to record different thoughts around what's going on. Today we went to the caves in Stockport which were really cool and interesting.
Tuesday 13 August 2013
Mon 12 August. Walk then a beer. dinner and film
This morning I sorted out some more stuff on evay which is going quite well. Quite a few bidders. I had some lunch at home then went to ric's house for 1pm. We had a really great walk around the fields of Mossley. Was good to see some British countryside again. Quite eery as we had a conversation about the Moors murders which were in that area.
Ric asked me a bit about becoming vegan in a really cool nonjudgemental way and even reassured me at one stage he wasn't trying to trip me up which was very cool. He asked about eggs and what if they were free range so I was trying to explain how it isn't really much different from being caged which he seemed to understand. Similarly he asked about cow milk and I said about the cow being kept pregnant and turning babies into veal. He seemed to get this too and said how him and his partner don't eat so much meat thesedays. I would've volunteered some information about veganism or more plant based eating but it didn't really seem appropriate as he did very much seem on his own journey with food and interested which I thought was cool. To start talking about books etc would've been too forceful and served no purpose I felt. I thought though with the other friend in NZ that the buying of a book was helpful to help him and to also provide some deflection from me politically.
We planned to meet again for another walk at some stage soon and to meet on thursday. We had a beer after the walk and I have to say I really regretted it. It was a san miguel which I know is Vegan unless from the Phillipines but it didn't feel good after. I could feel some effects of it and it made me think a lot about what a friend said about having a Yin property similar to eating meat in terms of the more detrimental impact it has on our psyche while we should be trying to stay in Yang. I came home and slept a short while and felt a need to kind of get on track after it. I stayed up later than I would usually due to that sleep then ultimately slept in later. I do want to generally stay clear of alcohol where possible and can see I made the wrong decision there.
It was cool how nonjudgemental Ric was. I need to get more comfortable in myself as a nondrinker maybe the same as I've done with being Vegan and then other people will accept it more I guess. Definitely no drinks on tuesday or wednesday atleast then I'll make clear plan for thursday.
I've enjoyed writing this so far to keep my sanity and also as a log for how everything has been going here.
Ric asked me a bit about becoming vegan in a really cool nonjudgemental way and even reassured me at one stage he wasn't trying to trip me up which was very cool. He asked about eggs and what if they were free range so I was trying to explain how it isn't really much different from being caged which he seemed to understand. Similarly he asked about cow milk and I said about the cow being kept pregnant and turning babies into veal. He seemed to get this too and said how him and his partner don't eat so much meat thesedays. I would've volunteered some information about veganism or more plant based eating but it didn't really seem appropriate as he did very much seem on his own journey with food and interested which I thought was cool. To start talking about books etc would've been too forceful and served no purpose I felt. I thought though with the other friend in NZ that the buying of a book was helpful to help him and to also provide some deflection from me politically.
We planned to meet again for another walk at some stage soon and to meet on thursday. We had a beer after the walk and I have to say I really regretted it. It was a san miguel which I know is Vegan unless from the Phillipines but it didn't feel good after. I could feel some effects of it and it made me think a lot about what a friend said about having a Yin property similar to eating meat in terms of the more detrimental impact it has on our psyche while we should be trying to stay in Yang. I came home and slept a short while and felt a need to kind of get on track after it. I stayed up later than I would usually due to that sleep then ultimately slept in later. I do want to generally stay clear of alcohol where possible and can see I made the wrong decision there.
It was cool how nonjudgemental Ric was. I need to get more comfortable in myself as a nondrinker maybe the same as I've done with being Vegan and then other people will accept it more I guess. Definitely no drinks on tuesday or wednesday atleast then I'll make clear plan for thursday.
I've enjoyed writing this so far to keep my sanity and also as a log for how everything has been going here.
Monday 12 August 2013
Sunday 11 August. Selling stuff, charity shield, friend
Spent quite a bit of time in the morning selling stuff on ebay. Was good to feel like I'm getting rid of stuff that I really don't need and will never use while getting some cash obviously in the process. Had lots of good food throughout the morning. Watched United and Wigan at 2 pm in the charity shield. That was kind of cool although I spoke a lot on my dictaphone about my feelings around football. How it's been such a big part of my life in the past and now although watching a game is kind of cool it seems linked with that whole brainwashed ego culture. I feel I've moved on a lot and felt good about my cultivation in the spiritual development workshop and my Vegan lifestyle. I feel they have certainly given me a much deeper connection to life than I had before and I'm really greatful for that.
I couldn't help but notice how horrible it seemed that the charity shield was sponsored by Mcdonalds. It seemed so vile. You could see it on all the adverts at the side of the pitch then at the end they announced the McDonalds man of the match. So vile!
It was good to meet friend in town in the evening and go to Ning. It was great they had some good Vegan options highlighted as such. I had one beer which was a San Miguel which I didn't know at the time if it was Vegan or not. I wasn't bothered about drinking but Kelly had one and it felt like the right thing to do. I thought of a friend who visited old friends and did go along a bit. It felt like I was doing my best. I found out today it is Vegan unless it's the Phillipines one. I would rather not drink but do just go along a little socially. I will find out a few more definite Vegan beers though so I'm safer in future.
It was a good night out having a meal and playing pool. Just annoying that one train didn't come meaning I waited an hour at the station. My main thoughts were around the football as above and also how I'm completely detached from drinking alcohol. Although I haven't been drinking much at all in NZ for ages it has been coming back here I've really noticed it due to still doing it a reasonable amount up to when I left here at start of 2009.
I recorded a lot of thoughts about this on my dictaphone. It seems strange that it's something that was the source of so much fun from being 16 and still good few drinks every week or so at 28 almost 29. Now though I genuinely have no interest at all. I feel happy I've got to that stage and feel it can only be a progression. I feel happy that I've moved on and somehow have a deeper connection to life than I used to have and it seems to be deepening.
I couldn't help but notice how horrible it seemed that the charity shield was sponsored by Mcdonalds. It seemed so vile. You could see it on all the adverts at the side of the pitch then at the end they announced the McDonalds man of the match. So vile!
It was good to meet friend in town in the evening and go to Ning. It was great they had some good Vegan options highlighted as such. I had one beer which was a San Miguel which I didn't know at the time if it was Vegan or not. I wasn't bothered about drinking but Kelly had one and it felt like the right thing to do. I thought of a friend who visited old friends and did go along a bit. It felt like I was doing my best. I found out today it is Vegan unless it's the Phillipines one. I would rather not drink but do just go along a little socially. I will find out a few more definite Vegan beers though so I'm safer in future.
It was a good night out having a meal and playing pool. Just annoying that one train didn't come meaning I waited an hour at the station. My main thoughts were around the football as above and also how I'm completely detached from drinking alcohol. Although I haven't been drinking much at all in NZ for ages it has been coming back here I've really noticed it due to still doing it a reasonable amount up to when I left here at start of 2009.
I recorded a lot of thoughts about this on my dictaphone. It seems strange that it's something that was the source of so much fun from being 16 and still good few drinks every week or so at 28 almost 29. Now though I genuinely have no interest at all. I feel happy I've got to that stage and feel it can only be a progression. I feel happy that I've moved on and somehow have a deeper connection to life than I used to have and it seems to be deepening.
Sunday 11 August 2013
Saturday 10th. Visiting Gran. Meeting some old friends family
Had another nice pleasant day yesterday. Got to visit my Gran in the day for an hour and in the evening met with parents of an old friend with my folks too. I felt totally comfortable not drinking alcohol as I was with another non drinker. Experiencing that non drinking is the general way I'd like to head. Just had a very short chat about my Veganism in terms of my decision around compassionate living and minimal harm etc and how I felt really good from it.
I found this interaction around Veganism and with my friends a few nights ago to be just really pleasant and cool which really makes me think that those who have the negative reaction are those who ultimately feel the most defensive about what they are doing. It seems though who show an interest are maybe more in touch with it being the way forward and being open to change etc.
I recorded on my dictaphone last night about how my life has changed and that sense of things unravelling somehow. England seems so repressed sometimes and just that feeling of being in pubs, a real pub culture around drinking etc. It's something that I have no real interest in being part of at all. It seems so kind of ego driven and linked with that class divided nature of the UK. I love my life of just having people over for dinners, dinners out, running etc, it all seems so much more real. I'm happy that I'm enjoying my trip here while feeling no desire whatsoever to live here again. I do love NZ and that feels great.
This morning (11th) involved a bit of a rest in and again eating well. My smoothie first thing then porridge with nuts etc. I was thinking I may go for a run but haven't found time. I'll meet my friend for dinner (Manchester restaurant with Vegan options) then a soft drink I guess. It should be nice being in town with her. I ordered a marathon book. You can do it by Jeff Galloway. I guess I'm looking to the Marathon on 1 November now and I may likely do another blog when this one ends after my trip here so I can have a log of that journey too for my memory, my motivation and to maybe give a link to others going through something similar.
The aim will just be to complete the marathon and this seems like a good book to help with that. I love the idea of doing it as a Vegan person too. I only believe being Vegan will give me more of an edge but nonetheless with it not being mainstream I always feel like I'm standing for something. I will love wearing my Team Vegan T shirt with pride. This book should support that.
Today I also ordered 'Diet for a new America' for a friend I'll meet tonight who I think will like it. She is open around food and change etc and we link a lot on the Counselling level. I feel it can help her whilst also supporting the cause of making a better world etc. I also bought it for my friend in NZ who was initially judgemental. This actually serves a few purposes. Firstly it is helping a friend who seems interested in food and health while knowing nothing about it. It is also obviously potentially helping the world become better while helping him to make better choices. Finally I feel it also works on an underlying political level almost whereas it will make him less likely to promote eating animals to me since he has that book and if he says it's not a good book etc I can remain open minded and allow him to recommend another (all seem to point in a more Vegan direction). It can just be an open showing of learning together while holding my faith that still deep down we are ultimately all Vegans. Sorry if that sounds arrogant but it is my stance. :)
I found this interaction around Veganism and with my friends a few nights ago to be just really pleasant and cool which really makes me think that those who have the negative reaction are those who ultimately feel the most defensive about what they are doing. It seems though who show an interest are maybe more in touch with it being the way forward and being open to change etc.
I recorded on my dictaphone last night about how my life has changed and that sense of things unravelling somehow. England seems so repressed sometimes and just that feeling of being in pubs, a real pub culture around drinking etc. It's something that I have no real interest in being part of at all. It seems so kind of ego driven and linked with that class divided nature of the UK. I love my life of just having people over for dinners, dinners out, running etc, it all seems so much more real. I'm happy that I'm enjoying my trip here while feeling no desire whatsoever to live here again. I do love NZ and that feels great.
This morning (11th) involved a bit of a rest in and again eating well. My smoothie first thing then porridge with nuts etc. I was thinking I may go for a run but haven't found time. I'll meet my friend for dinner (Manchester restaurant with Vegan options) then a soft drink I guess. It should be nice being in town with her. I ordered a marathon book. You can do it by Jeff Galloway. I guess I'm looking to the Marathon on 1 November now and I may likely do another blog when this one ends after my trip here so I can have a log of that journey too for my memory, my motivation and to maybe give a link to others going through something similar.
The aim will just be to complete the marathon and this seems like a good book to help with that. I love the idea of doing it as a Vegan person too. I only believe being Vegan will give me more of an edge but nonetheless with it not being mainstream I always feel like I'm standing for something. I will love wearing my Team Vegan T shirt with pride. This book should support that.
Today I also ordered 'Diet for a new America' for a friend I'll meet tonight who I think will like it. She is open around food and change etc and we link a lot on the Counselling level. I feel it can help her whilst also supporting the cause of making a better world etc. I also bought it for my friend in NZ who was initially judgemental. This actually serves a few purposes. Firstly it is helping a friend who seems interested in food and health while knowing nothing about it. It is also obviously potentially helping the world become better while helping him to make better choices. Finally I feel it also works on an underlying political level almost whereas it will make him less likely to promote eating animals to me since he has that book and if he says it's not a good book etc I can remain open minded and allow him to recommend another (all seem to point in a more Vegan direction). It can just be an open showing of learning together while holding my faith that still deep down we are ultimately all Vegans. Sorry if that sounds arrogant but it is my stance. :)
Saturday 10 August 2013
Friday 9 August. Farm, meeting friends, curry
Had a great day this day. I'm realising now how this blog is more turning just into a personal diary of my trip while I keep my Vegan sanity and just enjoy my whole trip to the UK. So far actually keeping my sanity hasn't been so hard at all. I was just worried it would be. I got out to a farm with the folks and sister which was actually really cool. It was nice just to allow myself to feel compassionate towards animals. It does seem such as important thing in terms of feeling that real connection to life as a whole. It all reinforces my Vegan life for me.
I made a curry to take to my old friends' house. It was great to enjoy a shared curry and cake with them. They really enjoyed it all and they seemed just interested and accepting of me as a Vegan person. I think my bad experience with my closer friend in NZ lead me to think others may be similar but it hasn't been like that at all. I wonder if people who it impacts on most are those who somehow feel the most guilty inside?
I'm going to send on the cake and curry recipe to my friends who I met with. I consider that a great success!! :) :) :) Just had one beer with them. Again I'm happy not drinking but just for sake of being social since I hadn't seen for 4.5 years. I can't be absolutely sure the beer was vegan but it's one of those where operating on principle of least harm is the best way forward and I didn't feel like refusing would've been so kind.
I made a curry to take to my old friends' house. It was great to enjoy a shared curry and cake with them. They really enjoyed it all and they seemed just interested and accepting of me as a Vegan person. I think my bad experience with my closer friend in NZ lead me to think others may be similar but it hasn't been like that at all. I wonder if people who it impacts on most are those who somehow feel the most guilty inside?
I'm going to send on the cake and curry recipe to my friends who I met with. I consider that a great success!! :) :) :) Just had one beer with them. Again I'm happy not drinking but just for sake of being social since I hadn't seen for 4.5 years. I can't be absolutely sure the beer was vegan but it's one of those where operating on principle of least harm is the best way forward and I didn't feel like refusing would've been so kind.
Friday 9 August 2013
Aug 8th. Thursday
After a nice lunch at home went to Trafford Centre with Sister. We looked around the shops and I got some great clothes bargains. We then went to see 'The World's end' which was very funny then had some dinner at Tampopo. It appealed to me particular since it had listed Vegan option. I had a Chap Chae (Korean noodle dish) which was pretty cool. It was interesting how American it was in the Trafford Centre. I guess the whole shopping culture etc too is quite different than back in NZ. Had a good conversation with Lindsay about life in NZ, relationships etc. I honestly said how I couldn't imagine living in the UK again. The trip is going well though and I'm so happy I haven't had any problem keeping my Vegan sanity really well up to this point.
Knowing I'm going to write on here is really nice so I can remember what I've done and write about any issues that come up. So far it's been a great ride.
Knowing I'm going to write on here is really nice so I can remember what I've done and write about any issues that come up. So far it's been a great ride.
Wednesday 7 August 2013
7 Aug. Dad's birthday
Today we went to Ordsall Hall, the War Museum then Purple Pakura restaurant. All of which were superb. I enjoyed using the dictaphone a bit to speak about frustrations. I thought about my friend in NZ I think I'll buy the diet for a new america book for. I think when he comes out with stupid things knowing that I've bought him tha book will bring me a bit of distance knowing I've done all I can and to take a step away from him somehow. It will make it less likely for him to say stupid things when I'm armed with knowing I've passped that to him.
It's good reading Human Change Processes by Mahoney. I feel that could help a bit in understanding how people change and maybe helping me to spread Veganism more. I sit with a champagne now. I don't want to drink alcohol really but have been tea total all day and now saw it as polite to join in with my Dad#s birthday a bit.
I need to be more confident just in me and expressing me. Speaking to a friend today I felt cautious to say that I don't really drink or what I'd like to do. I need to be bolder in that. It comes from just feeling comfortable in me. I need to keep working on that. Also I feel a bit cautious around saying about doing the run walk method when I run. Again I need to just be more confident in me.. it's just all been a while.
I'll keep using the dictaphone and keep writing on here to stay in contact with me so I can keep being strong. I have some good stuff coming up with meeting friends over next few days and hanging out with sister etc. I can keep it all up a day at a time.
I notice constantly as I keep enjoying my trip that I feel no desire at all to ever live here again. :)
It's good reading Human Change Processes by Mahoney. I feel that could help a bit in understanding how people change and maybe helping me to spread Veganism more. I sit with a champagne now. I don't want to drink alcohol really but have been tea total all day and now saw it as polite to join in with my Dad#s birthday a bit.
I need to be more confident just in me and expressing me. Speaking to a friend today I felt cautious to say that I don't really drink or what I'd like to do. I need to be bolder in that. It comes from just feeling comfortable in me. I need to keep working on that. Also I feel a bit cautious around saying about doing the run walk method when I run. Again I need to just be more confident in me.. it's just all been a while.
I'll keep using the dictaphone and keep writing on here to stay in contact with me so I can keep being strong. I have some good stuff coming up with meeting friends over next few days and hanging out with sister etc. I can keep it all up a day at a time.
I notice constantly as I keep enjoying my trip that I feel no desire at all to ever live here again. :)
Tuesday 6 August 2013
Run then meeting with an old friend. 6. Aug
Had a great morning in going out for a run for almost 2 hours and not feeling so tired. Seems the marathon training is well on. Was good to make the Vegan cake as linked on my other post. I then made a step by step curry from the Revive book then went to Emma's house. It was great to see her again after 4.5 years. She really is like a sister and I know she thinks of me as a brother. A really cool relationship.
It was interesting on the Vegan front I guess she was surprised to hear how the optimum human diet is plant based and she said about wearing a leather jacket etc went through me a bit. It was good we were able to go around that a bit. I'm really happy she enjoyed my curry. I was impressed with her writing.
It's good now I have my dictaphone I think will help me a lot with mine and all my Vegan thoughts and any other general writing. I was happy she gave me back 'Human change processes' by Mahoney. I wonder if that could help me to understand and maybe write more about our brainwashed meat eating culture and the way out of that.
Will be good to spend more time with Emma over the coming weeks. It was great to talk about dreams too and chakras. My dream before I went to NZ was very key as were my few dreams there too. Was okay to have a couple of beers but really feel I've outlived it. It's like I'd rather not drink now in all honesty. It is a drug and I prefer life with out it.
It was interesting on the Vegan front I guess she was surprised to hear how the optimum human diet is plant based and she said about wearing a leather jacket etc went through me a bit. It was good we were able to go around that a bit. I'm really happy she enjoyed my curry. I was impressed with her writing.
It's good now I have my dictaphone I think will help me a lot with mine and all my Vegan thoughts and any other general writing. I was happy she gave me back 'Human change processes' by Mahoney. I wonder if that could help me to understand and maybe write more about our brainwashed meat eating culture and the way out of that.
Will be good to spend more time with Emma over the coming weeks. It was great to talk about dreams too and chakras. My dream before I went to NZ was very key as were my few dreams there too. Was okay to have a couple of beers but really feel I've outlived it. It's like I'd rather not drink now in all honesty. It is a drug and I prefer life with out it.
Monday 5 August 2013
Frustration
I really hate it how we can't get through to everyone. I think of people who remain so set in their ways and the frustration with that. I guess though as a Counsellor I need to just look at my response and not try to just focus on changing them. I need to look at me and how I can best express my Veganism and share with as many people as possible as effectively as possible and choose my battles carefully and just not waste my time. I guess it's important to look at how I manage myself and my time and just keep moving forward and living life and if it comes down to it I need to accept that friends do come and go and just keep going down my path.
Maybe writing like this and using my dictaphone too will allow that constant expression and allow me to move forward as a Vegan activist as well as I possible can. It was great to build those connections tonight and in the next few days making meals. It shows that I'm doing that.
Maybe since there isn't a counter argument to veganism but since nonsense is vented in my direction I should be strong and maybe say I think you should try it if you are genuinely interested in food, health and ethics, there isn't any reason not to.
Maybe it will get to a stage whereas I ultimately won't have time for people like that. I guess that's something I'll just have to keep writing about and keep managing, finding ways to keep myself sane so I can address it day by day as well as I can. It does sadden me but I've noticed rifts which I need to accept may never ever find a happy conclusion but will lead to my moving on ultimately.
So what's my plan... to not visit people like that maybe... to stay in my own area living my own life and just meet up at mutual places could maybe be the way forward. I'm not willing to tolerate that kind of ongoing talk really and I don't just want to be treated as a side show... it's not respectful. My veganism does really need to be acknowledged for it's importance.
I simply can't win on the other territory. I need to acknowledge that and accept it but I can build my own new base and keep behaving in a way which will cause the most impact positively... like my new labyrinth tattoo symbol I'll get.
It's nice to have this break just to relax and take stock of where I'm up to. It's scary though to move away from very strong connections. I guess that's where making more is the way forward. My new vegan connections... my new life as a vegan. :)
Maybe writing like this and using my dictaphone too will allow that constant expression and allow me to move forward as a Vegan activist as well as I possible can. It was great to build those connections tonight and in the next few days making meals. It shows that I'm doing that.
Maybe since there isn't a counter argument to veganism but since nonsense is vented in my direction I should be strong and maybe say I think you should try it if you are genuinely interested in food, health and ethics, there isn't any reason not to.
Maybe it will get to a stage whereas I ultimately won't have time for people like that. I guess that's something I'll just have to keep writing about and keep managing, finding ways to keep myself sane so I can address it day by day as well as I can. It does sadden me but I've noticed rifts which I need to accept may never ever find a happy conclusion but will lead to my moving on ultimately.
So what's my plan... to not visit people like that maybe... to stay in my own area living my own life and just meet up at mutual places could maybe be the way forward. I'm not willing to tolerate that kind of ongoing talk really and I don't just want to be treated as a side show... it's not respectful. My veganism does really need to be acknowledged for it's importance.
I simply can't win on the other territory. I need to acknowledge that and accept it but I can build my own new base and keep behaving in a way which will cause the most impact positively... like my new labyrinth tattoo symbol I'll get.
It's nice to have this break just to relax and take stock of where I'm up to. It's scary though to move away from very strong connections. I guess that's where making more is the way forward. My new vegan connections... my new life as a vegan. :)
Thoughts about being in England generally
Off the topic of Veganism a bit I can't help but notice how completely detached I am from life here. I am making sure I do everything I want to in this time which amounts to meeting people, enjoying Vegan life etc. However as I see old places I used to hang out etc I just feel like I've moved on. I love NZ and knew I wanted to live there.. Nonetheless I did feel that being here would strike up more sentimentality about my life here before but it's actually not doing it at all. I know there were fun times but now it's almnost a bit more like... that really isn't so great at all even though it was fun then kind of thinking. Playing video games, my very old girlfriend, going out drinking, football, none of it felt like it was constructive.
In NZ I somehow feel like I'm growing a lot more constantly. Here I can't help but almost feel a bit weird and trapped. Ah that feeling when I got to NZ... I described it as 'unravelling'. I've improved through being there. Here I would never have become Vegan or running likely. I just can't imagine living here at all.
The whole thing with the Kundalini awakening was part of me being in NZ. I don't feel that here. Living here is unthinkable. I just love seeing everyone here again but it isn't a part of who I am ultimately. My time is now... in NZ and it's great to feel so good about where is now my home. It was interesting someone talking tonight about finding NZ boring but I can't imagine it at all. Here is kind of boring to me.. it's like a drudgery or would be if I lived here. There's a kind of insular implosive kind of feeling. It's not constructive and moving forward but rather kind of repressed. Nz feels freer and like it's moving and growing and more about living life. I feel more spiritual there and like I'm growing which is so cool. I guess that's just where my journey took me.
I'l always remember my dream before I went to NZ which showed the anima complex and somehow becoming the newer me :) :) :)
I'm a bit worried because I want to make all I can of my trip and don't want to miss NZ. I will do my best to live each day here as well as I can and I do feel I am doing that. I have my list and will keep getting all I can from my trip here :)
In NZ I somehow feel like I'm growing a lot more constantly. Here I can't help but almost feel a bit weird and trapped. Ah that feeling when I got to NZ... I described it as 'unravelling'. I've improved through being there. Here I would never have become Vegan or running likely. I just can't imagine living here at all.
The whole thing with the Kundalini awakening was part of me being in NZ. I don't feel that here. Living here is unthinkable. I just love seeing everyone here again but it isn't a part of who I am ultimately. My time is now... in NZ and it's great to feel so good about where is now my home. It was interesting someone talking tonight about finding NZ boring but I can't imagine it at all. Here is kind of boring to me.. it's like a drudgery or would be if I lived here. There's a kind of insular implosive kind of feeling. It's not constructive and moving forward but rather kind of repressed. Nz feels freer and like it's moving and growing and more about living life. I feel more spiritual there and like I'm growing which is so cool. I guess that's just where my journey took me.
I'l always remember my dream before I went to NZ which showed the anima complex and somehow becoming the newer me :) :) :)
I'm a bit worried because I want to make all I can of my trip and don't want to miss NZ. I will do my best to live each day here as well as I can and I do feel I am doing that. I have my list and will keep getting all I can from my trip here :)
Some good Vegan connections and promoting. 5 Aug. :)
Spent time with my Gran and Mum this morning which was cool which ended with a lunch. Managed to get a pasta dish which was Vegan that was cool in the pub. I couldn't help but feel weird with my Mum and Gran eating fish. Feel a bit bad saying that but am getting to a stage whereas I just don't want to be around people eating animals. The thought goes through my mind of 'To eat meat is a Psychopathic act.' The diagnosis I support as a Vegan Therapist. Even though my Mum and Gran are very unlikely to kill anyone, with anyone who eats meat there is an unconscious thing happening out of awareness that feels it's okay to walk over weaker things. I praise any steps forward though and I'm so happy my parents are now semi vegetarian and my Gran got into my Vegan curry. They are on the right path :) :) :)
For dinner I went out with a Manchester Vegan group which was cool. The food was just okay but the connections were nice. It's good to just share stories. I got some good details of other Vegan stores etc in Manchester. It reminded me to put myself out there as Vegan and be a bit bolder. I shared some Vegan thought on my facebook profile which I don't usually do so much, I usually just comment and like others. Also I decided I'll suggest to Karl and Barbara going to a Veg restaurant so introducing them to stuff. Similarly I'll cook for Kelly and for Dunny's family and will take some pride in that. I think that's the way forward to show how happy and strong I am as a Vegan :) :) :) Really keep living the lifestyle well and that defining part of me. That's the only way.. to express.
There's a meeting the last Saturday of every month at the Thirsty Scholar in Manchester at 1 pm I may go to next time and I know the meetup like tonight is every monday which is cool to maybe go again. It was cheap too and the company was great. They recommended Alternative stores too. I wanted some hiking boots and the prices were good but out of stock which is annoying.
For dinner I went out with a Manchester Vegan group which was cool. The food was just okay but the connections were nice. It's good to just share stories. I got some good details of other Vegan stores etc in Manchester. It reminded me to put myself out there as Vegan and be a bit bolder. I shared some Vegan thought on my facebook profile which I don't usually do so much, I usually just comment and like others. Also I decided I'll suggest to Karl and Barbara going to a Veg restaurant so introducing them to stuff. Similarly I'll cook for Kelly and for Dunny's family and will take some pride in that. I think that's the way forward to show how happy and strong I am as a Vegan :) :) :) Really keep living the lifestyle well and that defining part of me. That's the only way.. to express.
There's a meeting the last Saturday of every month at the Thirsty Scholar in Manchester at 1 pm I may go to next time and I know the meetup like tonight is every monday which is cool to maybe go again. It was cheap too and the company was great. They recommended Alternative stores too. I wanted some hiking boots and the prices were good but out of stock which is annoying.
Sunday 4 August 2013
night review
Was good to link up with old friend Stuart on FB to arrange to meet. Am bit concerned about ending up drinking beer that may not be vegan so will keep a good eye on that and do what I can. Ordered the dictaphone which I think could be cool and is worth a risk and could help keep sanity more and help my writing mind. At the worst its 35 dollars wasted but I will give it a go, it could be a cool thing. I ordered the Die Hard video game too. It felt kind of geeky I guess but I feel I need to go easy on me sometimes. It cost about 4 dollars in total. I think as a bit of amusement and relaxing time it won't be a bad thing. I'm too hard on me sometimes.
Was good to use FB more to link with Vegan community out there. Tomorrow feels nice to think of morning lunch with Mum and Gran then the evening dinner connection with the Vegan group in Manchester. That should be cool. I feel happy too that it's confirmed I'll make dinner for Kelly and me on Tuesday. Feels good that I'm expressing my vegan confidence like that, seems good healthy way to go about things. Similarly I offered to make Dunny and his family a curry.
It's great the United tickets have come through so something else to look foward to. I will contact Barbara to see if can meet with her and Karl also. Still bit jetlagged but getting better. I've got my list to go off of main objectives which I have to say are mainly being a good vegan person while catching up with people and keeping myself well sane. I feel I can do that and enjoy myself this month.
Was good to use FB more to link with Vegan community out there. Tomorrow feels nice to think of morning lunch with Mum and Gran then the evening dinner connection with the Vegan group in Manchester. That should be cool. I feel happy too that it's confirmed I'll make dinner for Kelly and me on Tuesday. Feels good that I'm expressing my vegan confidence like that, seems good healthy way to go about things. Similarly I offered to make Dunny and his family a curry.
It's great the United tickets have come through so something else to look foward to. I will contact Barbara to see if can meet with her and Karl also. Still bit jetlagged but getting better. I've got my list to go off of main objectives which I have to say are mainly being a good vegan person while catching up with people and keeping myself well sane. I feel I can do that and enjoy myself this month.
Bit cabin feverish but okay
Got up after a great sleep and seem to be more or less over jeltag. Then again I'm still a bit tired now. I got out on a one hour 30 min run. Felt like all I could manage just for now but I hope to build up a bit. Gran has come over so great to see her for the first time in 4.5 years so just relaxing, talking etc. I'm really glad and surprised she liked my Vegan curry. I thought we would've had to have got out the emergency pie for her. I'm glad it didn't come to that.
I ordered Die Hard 3 and 4 from amazon for 1p each plus delivery, not bad. I was tempted to order a video game then realised that would've been a negative and was showing my feeling a bit trapped etc. I feel bad to say I do miss NZ a bit, like I did when I was in OZ. I guess it's cool that I feel so happy ultimately that I live in NZ. I can't say exactly what I miss, I just love being there. I'm so happy I moved and being here as much as it's nice being back does just re-affirm that.
I was thinking of a dictaphone I thought could help my vegan sanity more. Just having something to talk into then get together ideas from it afterwards I thought could help me to stay well and balanced. Couldn't decide today though. I am more money conscious now and don't want to throw cash away if I won't use it properly but it could be worth a go.
I enjoyed connecting with Auckland vegan people on facebook and it's good I'll be going to a vegan event here before too long. will go a week tomorrow if not tomorrow. I enjoyed actually cooking tonight. That does help keep my vegan sanity. Having my Mum cook for me is nice but cooking is something I really want to keep up.
It was really great to speak to Kelly on the phone and feel that Counselling connection. She's a really cool person and has been a great friend. A fellow highly sensitive person. I look forward to getting together on Tuesday. I'm thinking now I can take something over to her place to eat.
It's strange as I do really feel I grow more somehow in NZ. Here it has that quite trapped feeling almost. As I ran around today I enjoyed remembering Club 29 where I used to rent video games when I was a kid and running by where my girlfriend lived when I was 15. So long ago. It is like just remembering an old life though that I genuinely have no ongoing attachment to now.
I was thinking though how it is nice to come back like this and check in. I plan to use the ideas from the cool money management book and look at the enjoyment and purpose I get from visiting then how I want to manage time and money to come back here again. Right now that's a bit unclear.
I ordered Die Hard 3 and 4 from amazon for 1p each plus delivery, not bad. I was tempted to order a video game then realised that would've been a negative and was showing my feeling a bit trapped etc. I feel bad to say I do miss NZ a bit, like I did when I was in OZ. I guess it's cool that I feel so happy ultimately that I live in NZ. I can't say exactly what I miss, I just love being there. I'm so happy I moved and being here as much as it's nice being back does just re-affirm that.
I was thinking of a dictaphone I thought could help my vegan sanity more. Just having something to talk into then get together ideas from it afterwards I thought could help me to stay well and balanced. Couldn't decide today though. I am more money conscious now and don't want to throw cash away if I won't use it properly but it could be worth a go.
I enjoyed connecting with Auckland vegan people on facebook and it's good I'll be going to a vegan event here before too long. will go a week tomorrow if not tomorrow. I enjoyed actually cooking tonight. That does help keep my vegan sanity. Having my Mum cook for me is nice but cooking is something I really want to keep up.
It was really great to speak to Kelly on the phone and feel that Counselling connection. She's a really cool person and has been a great friend. A fellow highly sensitive person. I look forward to getting together on Tuesday. I'm thinking now I can take something over to her place to eat.
It's strange as I do really feel I grow more somehow in NZ. Here it has that quite trapped feeling almost. As I ran around today I enjoyed remembering Club 29 where I used to rent video games when I was a kid and running by where my girlfriend lived when I was 15. So long ago. It is like just remembering an old life though that I genuinely have no ongoing attachment to now.
I was thinking though how it is nice to come back like this and check in. I plan to use the ideas from the cool money management book and look at the enjoyment and purpose I get from visiting then how I want to manage time and money to come back here again. Right now that's a bit unclear.
Saturday 3 August 2013
lots of vegan esque talking, dvds and lots more great vegan food. Day 3
Had another cool day of just relaxing around my home and outside. It's so so cool how much more openminded my folks seem to be thesedays. It seems they're really enjoying their older semi retired years. They are so much more compassionate in the way they talk about life, health, animals etc. I guess before they just weren't conscious.
My Dad was saying how he lost 20 pounds over the last couple of years through a more plant based diet. He was showing me a thing he got from a more enlightened doctor 8 years ago pointing out to move towards more plant based eating and regrets that he was quite dismissive at the time. He's in the living room right now reading 'Thrive' by Brendan Brazier which I bought for my sister's birthday.
My sister talks about animal rights lots. I have to stop her sometimes as she started talking about horrible animal conditions. She's pretty much vegan now I think. Today I was just recommending she get a b12 supplement which she hasn't done as yet.
My sister and me watched forks over knives which was pretty cool and those same themes. I wasn't sure if it goes a bit too far maybe. I am a strong vegan but some stuff concerns me and seems a bit less than concrete.
I do personally advocate veganism as the optimum diet for physical and mental health and that there is no need to harm an animal (to do so is a psychopathic act as some Psychologists hold). Nonetheless I felt the film clumped fish with meat etc. I feel fish in non polluted waters wouldnt be so bad on a pure physical level but best not from an ethical angle first and foremost. Also it talked about being vegan as maybe being the same as plant based but being vegan is a lifestyle incorporating more than just what we eat.
It quotes the China study a lot which does seem to have good work in it but nonetheless in some ways seems a lot of stats which are interpreted in a certain way and could potentially be seen slightly differently. It concerns me sometimes as I strongly advocate people to become vegan as a whole physical and mental health optimum lifestyle however I don't want things to become distorted and lack substance for movements towards credibly making animals as food and clothing illegal. We don't need to do that I don't think.
I do still think however the very main principles of the film are fundamentally correct. The depressing reality of a brainwashed culture and pretty much showing eating animals is bad for us... eating plants is good etc etc... eating animals causes this this and this.. eating plants reverses. Such a simple depressing truth. Shame everyone can't get it.
My Dad was saying how he lost 20 pounds over the last couple of years through a more plant based diet. He was showing me a thing he got from a more enlightened doctor 8 years ago pointing out to move towards more plant based eating and regrets that he was quite dismissive at the time. He's in the living room right now reading 'Thrive' by Brendan Brazier which I bought for my sister's birthday.
My sister talks about animal rights lots. I have to stop her sometimes as she started talking about horrible animal conditions. She's pretty much vegan now I think. Today I was just recommending she get a b12 supplement which she hasn't done as yet.
My sister and me watched forks over knives which was pretty cool and those same themes. I wasn't sure if it goes a bit too far maybe. I am a strong vegan but some stuff concerns me and seems a bit less than concrete.
I do personally advocate veganism as the optimum diet for physical and mental health and that there is no need to harm an animal (to do so is a psychopathic act as some Psychologists hold). Nonetheless I felt the film clumped fish with meat etc. I feel fish in non polluted waters wouldnt be so bad on a pure physical level but best not from an ethical angle first and foremost. Also it talked about being vegan as maybe being the same as plant based but being vegan is a lifestyle incorporating more than just what we eat.
It quotes the China study a lot which does seem to have good work in it but nonetheless in some ways seems a lot of stats which are interpreted in a certain way and could potentially be seen slightly differently. It concerns me sometimes as I strongly advocate people to become vegan as a whole physical and mental health optimum lifestyle however I don't want things to become distorted and lack substance for movements towards credibly making animals as food and clothing illegal. We don't need to do that I don't think.
I do still think however the very main principles of the film are fundamentally correct. The depressing reality of a brainwashed culture and pretty much showing eating animals is bad for us... eating plants is good etc etc... eating animals causes this this and this.. eating plants reverses. Such a simple depressing truth. Shame everyone can't get it.
Great recipe for Vegan chocolate cake
http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/4666/print-friendly.aspx
This was the recipe my Mum kindly made for me when I came over. Will definitely be making it when I return to NZ. Doesn't look so tricky. Maybe even I can make it !!!
This was the recipe my Mum kindly made for me when I came over. Will definitely be making it when I return to NZ. Doesn't look so tricky. Maybe even I can make it !!!
Aug 2nd. Sanity all good and getting over jet lag slowly. will be good to meet some other vegan peeps.
Ate all similar food yesterday and a great salad my Mum made for dinner which I'll get the recipe for when I return. Went into Stockport to get a phone. Had a good one hour run out so good to get back into training for the marathon. Was thinking how it would be good to meet more Vegan people here so will make contact with Manchester Vegans which should be good. At my folks house is cool and ideal but sometimes just having that actual vegan connection I find really invaluable somtimes. Enjoyed using Facebook a bit and commenting on all my forums I'm linked with. Feel a strange undercurrent of tiredness but am holding on to each evening before going to sleep.
I'm definitely going to be making the Vegan cake and the vegan salad from today when I get back to NZ :)
I'm definitely going to be making the Vegan cake and the vegan salad from today when I get back to NZ :)
Friday 2 August 2013
Aug 1. Great relaxed first vegan day back in the UK. Completely veganly sane.
I arrived back and got picked up by my folks from the airport about 9 am. Was great to see them and they seemed really well in themselves. It was a great day and so cool how supportive they are of my veganism (see my other post) and how they have very much been evolving their diet to becoming iincreasingly plant based. I could see this on a health and also on an ethical level too as my Dad spoke about trying not to buy anything with palm oil in. Similarly they could really understand what I was saying about the new veganesque documentary Blackfish I'd seen. Well worth checking out by the way. During our brief discussion outside about factory farming by Dad gave a genuine 'awww' as I said about factory farmed pigs.
It was great to just really take it easy. I spent the day relaxing around the home, in the conservatory and outside. For lunch my Mum made a tomato soup which we had with cool grainy bread and some raw brocolli. For dinner we had a vegetable curry my Mum made with brown rice and also some potatoes with sweet chilli sauce (something from the Revive book 2 I bought for them). I love those books. They gratefully recieved the second one as a present so was great to share my story of how helpful I'd found the first then to pass on the second to help them further to become more vegatarian.
I didn't unpack anything and felt kind of weird all day with underlying jet lag but relaxing was just cool. Oh as an added great thing my Mum had made a vegan chocolate cake as a welcome back. Such a great idea I thought and so thoughtful. It tasted great with the soy ice cream. Do actually feel really greatful for how cool they've been. Obviously wouldn't stop me being vegan at all but would be increasingly more annoying.
In the evening we relaxed and watched Die hard I'd picked up from play.com for £1.80. So so cool. can't believe it's 25 years old.
It was great to just really take it easy. I spent the day relaxing around the home, in the conservatory and outside. For lunch my Mum made a tomato soup which we had with cool grainy bread and some raw brocolli. For dinner we had a vegetable curry my Mum made with brown rice and also some potatoes with sweet chilli sauce (something from the Revive book 2 I bought for them). I love those books. They gratefully recieved the second one as a present so was great to share my story of how helpful I'd found the first then to pass on the second to help them further to become more vegatarian.
I didn't unpack anything and felt kind of weird all day with underlying jet lag but relaxing was just cool. Oh as an added great thing my Mum had made a vegan chocolate cake as a welcome back. Such a great idea I thought and so thoughtful. It tasted great with the soy ice cream. Do actually feel really greatful for how cool they've been. Obviously wouldn't stop me being vegan at all but would be increasingly more annoying.
In the evening we relaxed and watched Die hard I'd picked up from play.com for £1.80. So so cool. can't believe it's 25 years old.
Thursday 1 August 2013
An unbelievably great day in Kuala Lumpar :)
I had practically a dream day in Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia during my 15 hour stop over. I met my friends the night before to take me to the airport in Auckland. I had an idea of how to spend my time then they mentioned that they had some friends in Kuala Lumpar who could potentially meet with me. I said that would be great.
I was met by Jacqueline and Johnson at the airport who showed me around the city... the twin towers and the main Kuala Lumpar tower (with a trip to the top). We also ate great Vegan meals together. Starting with Dim Sum for lunch and other random stor fries etc at a restaurant for dinner. Also a visit to China Town together.
I feel embarassed although very highly gratuitous that I did not pay for anything the whole of that time other than a DVD of the new superman movie I bought for equivalent of 5 NZ dollars from China Town.
Very very lovely people. Jacqueline and Johnson belong to the same spiritual development community I am bonded with in Auckland which inspired my decision to become Vegetarian then Vegan initially. Their diet even if just vegetarian always involves not eating allium vegetables (the onion family) for spiritual reasons that they cause unrest to the heart. I have to say I haven't gone there myself yet personally but for pure compassionate reasons just love being vegan and obviously my health being super too is great.
The journey to Kuala Lumpar I pretty much slept the whole way. I was just a little aggrieved that I wasn't on their list for a Vegan meal although had requested several weeks before. They managed to still get me some food and I just missed out on the breakfast whereas the vegetarian option involved scrambled egg. I settled for some fruit and a bread roll.
Jacqueline and Johnson called the airline for me to check if I could get the Vegan meal on the way back and just as unbelievable extra support bought me some fruit and a big vegan burger to take with just in case. Such great people. They may visit Auckland next year so I really hope I can repay the favour. The spiritual development group speaks a lot about affinity, possible past lives and being linked to others in that community. That was how I was treated which was very nice and I will repay that.
Overall my Vegan life on the trip has gone exceptionally well. I remain a sane vegan firmly. :)
I was met by Jacqueline and Johnson at the airport who showed me around the city... the twin towers and the main Kuala Lumpar tower (with a trip to the top). We also ate great Vegan meals together. Starting with Dim Sum for lunch and other random stor fries etc at a restaurant for dinner. Also a visit to China Town together.
I feel embarassed although very highly gratuitous that I did not pay for anything the whole of that time other than a DVD of the new superman movie I bought for equivalent of 5 NZ dollars from China Town.
Very very lovely people. Jacqueline and Johnson belong to the same spiritual development community I am bonded with in Auckland which inspired my decision to become Vegetarian then Vegan initially. Their diet even if just vegetarian always involves not eating allium vegetables (the onion family) for spiritual reasons that they cause unrest to the heart. I have to say I haven't gone there myself yet personally but for pure compassionate reasons just love being vegan and obviously my health being super too is great.
The journey to Kuala Lumpar I pretty much slept the whole way. I was just a little aggrieved that I wasn't on their list for a Vegan meal although had requested several weeks before. They managed to still get me some food and I just missed out on the breakfast whereas the vegetarian option involved scrambled egg. I settled for some fruit and a bread roll.
Jacqueline and Johnson called the airline for me to check if I could get the Vegan meal on the way back and just as unbelievable extra support bought me some fruit and a big vegan burger to take with just in case. Such great people. They may visit Auckland next year so I really hope I can repay the favour. The spiritual development group speaks a lot about affinity, possible past lives and being linked to others in that community. That was how I was treated which was very nice and I will repay that.
Overall my Vegan life on the trip has gone exceptionally well. I remain a sane vegan firmly. :)
Monday 29 July 2013
will post next on thursday sometime UK time
I'm actually leaving now for the UK so with the long flight and time different won't be active for a few days. will post as in the title here on my experiences being back as a vegan and other thoughts and feelings around vegaism.
Thanks for your viewing and please comment
Cheers
:)
Thanks for your viewing and please comment
Cheers
:)
What do you find most difficult about being Vegan?
Please see my comment on this after first comment below. I only realised afterwards it was silly for me not to share first. :)
How has your becoming Vegan changed your life?
I was just interested in getting some different experiences. We could all share a little.
I must apologise for not sharing mine initially. My veganism has changed me in a lot of ways. It seems to have brought a deepening to my whole life experience. I feel more sensitive to everything while at the same time feeling stronger and more compassionate. Somehow I feel like I have a more solid foundation. I feel I have become more spiritual through the process, less egotistical and a greater willingness to just let go and let be so to speak. It has been a difficult process to let go and realise so much while at the same time being a very enlightening one. I rank becoming vegan as one of the most landmark important things I've done in my life so far.
How about you? :)
I must apologise for not sharing mine initially. My veganism has changed me in a lot of ways. It seems to have brought a deepening to my whole life experience. I feel more sensitive to everything while at the same time feeling stronger and more compassionate. Somehow I feel like I have a more solid foundation. I feel I have become more spiritual through the process, less egotistical and a greater willingness to just let go and let be so to speak. It has been a difficult process to let go and realise so much while at the same time being a very enlightening one. I rank becoming vegan as one of the most landmark important things I've done in my life so far.
How about you? :)
feeling of death, kundalini awakening, opening chakras and tattoos
just realised my stuff is packed so putting some more thoughts on from my memory stick
i dont want to sound dramatic or pretentios but as i said this blog is just me keeping sanity and i want to log my story. im my first vegan year it was one of the most difficult times ive had. its difficult to say if it was all about being vegan but it was a very very difficult time. okay i admit it, it was maybe the most difficult time of my life. im still not so sure why exactly.
i moved house a few moths after i became vegan. a great house share i had ended due to a housemate not taking on the lease then i had a fxxxxxx horrible nightmare 6 weeks living with a girl who seemed an anti vegan and i cant help but feel was somewhat threatened by my lifetsyle. i did my best to be reasonable although she remained adamant that i didnt eat properly. living their was my worst time in NZ. I then moved out of desparation to another really expensive house where i stayed for 4 months. kind of boarding house style with 8 people. no one was vege, everyone was sound enough but it was never home for me. it was finally in april i moved to my new vegan house and suddenly
felt so much more settled like things were getting better.
looking back over the last year i dont think ive had a time where so much change has occurred and ive felt so different from one year to the next. ive changed on a deep fundamental level through becoming vegan. my attitudes have evolved. i relate to a whole new group of people and have found a whole new kinship and belonging ive never had before and i still feel im just at the start which all excites. plus i can somehow cook a few cool things. i used to have the standard boring meat meals, now its so much better. anyway back to story.
in this time spoke to my counselling mentor a lot more. there were a few months went by when i was driving myself somehow trying to keep moving forward but it was like
something deeper was changing in me. my mentor said i was going through a deep transformational process. she said how when she was my age she had a really dramatic one
whereas she almost committed suicide. i certainly didnt feel that bad but i felt this disclosure comforting.
looking back maybe it was just all about feeling something on such a deep level that other people didnt see. i think of the big house i was in and people always making steak and
bacon and once almost wretching at the smell of it. i guess my new home now made the difference because i knew i was with people who felt the same as i did.
it was interesting when i came through i suddenly started to get an idea id get a tattoo. so not the old me but feels more me now. its actually planned for when i get back from my uk trip. its going to be on my back and ill have a labyrinth mandala fused with a native american sun and another sun. the labyrinth is a symbol of birth, death, rebirth abd progress. the native american sun is a symbol of the healing arts and of peace (to embrace my counselling and veganism), the other sun will be to show the self conquering the shadow. i started to find the whole idea quite romantic. I found this site about
mandalas which I found inspiring. I read this cool book on tattoos too
something strange happened in the last few weeks too as i meditated ive started to feel jolts like electricity passing through my body. its actually a good feeling and i know
its constructive. ive read into it and research around kundalini awakening say it can be chakras opening or if theyre already opening the left over crap of the past coming
out. ah and the native american sun also has 7 rays representing the 7 chakras so again fits.
i guess the idea of a tattoo as a kind of symbol of a new me, my individual self and my rite of passage to my new life. ive never been a bastard i dont think but theres
stupid ways ive behaved in the past that i feel arent really who i want to be and now im more me than ive ever been and i want some symbol of how i came through a tough
time to a more evolved sense of me. it is a time ill always remember. im glad the darkness has ended now.
I've actually booked in to have my tattoo done on 1 September 2 days after returning to NZ. Feels cool :)
i dont want to sound dramatic or pretentios but as i said this blog is just me keeping sanity and i want to log my story. im my first vegan year it was one of the most difficult times ive had. its difficult to say if it was all about being vegan but it was a very very difficult time. okay i admit it, it was maybe the most difficult time of my life. im still not so sure why exactly.
i moved house a few moths after i became vegan. a great house share i had ended due to a housemate not taking on the lease then i had a fxxxxxx horrible nightmare 6 weeks living with a girl who seemed an anti vegan and i cant help but feel was somewhat threatened by my lifetsyle. i did my best to be reasonable although she remained adamant that i didnt eat properly. living their was my worst time in NZ. I then moved out of desparation to another really expensive house where i stayed for 4 months. kind of boarding house style with 8 people. no one was vege, everyone was sound enough but it was never home for me. it was finally in april i moved to my new vegan house and suddenly
felt so much more settled like things were getting better.
looking back over the last year i dont think ive had a time where so much change has occurred and ive felt so different from one year to the next. ive changed on a deep fundamental level through becoming vegan. my attitudes have evolved. i relate to a whole new group of people and have found a whole new kinship and belonging ive never had before and i still feel im just at the start which all excites. plus i can somehow cook a few cool things. i used to have the standard boring meat meals, now its so much better. anyway back to story.
in this time spoke to my counselling mentor a lot more. there were a few months went by when i was driving myself somehow trying to keep moving forward but it was like
something deeper was changing in me. my mentor said i was going through a deep transformational process. she said how when she was my age she had a really dramatic one
whereas she almost committed suicide. i certainly didnt feel that bad but i felt this disclosure comforting.
looking back maybe it was just all about feeling something on such a deep level that other people didnt see. i think of the big house i was in and people always making steak and
bacon and once almost wretching at the smell of it. i guess my new home now made the difference because i knew i was with people who felt the same as i did.
it was interesting when i came through i suddenly started to get an idea id get a tattoo. so not the old me but feels more me now. its actually planned for when i get back from my uk trip. its going to be on my back and ill have a labyrinth mandala fused with a native american sun and another sun. the labyrinth is a symbol of birth, death, rebirth abd progress. the native american sun is a symbol of the healing arts and of peace (to embrace my counselling and veganism), the other sun will be to show the self conquering the shadow. i started to find the whole idea quite romantic. I found this site about
mandalas which I found inspiring. I read this cool book on tattoos too
something strange happened in the last few weeks too as i meditated ive started to feel jolts like electricity passing through my body. its actually a good feeling and i know
its constructive. ive read into it and research around kundalini awakening say it can be chakras opening or if theyre already opening the left over crap of the past coming
out. ah and the native american sun also has 7 rays representing the 7 chakras so again fits.
i guess the idea of a tattoo as a kind of symbol of a new me, my individual self and my rite of passage to my new life. ive never been a bastard i dont think but theres
stupid ways ive behaved in the past that i feel arent really who i want to be and now im more me than ive ever been and i want some symbol of how i came through a tough
time to a more evolved sense of me. it is a time ill always remember. im glad the darkness has ended now.
I've actually booked in to have my tattoo done on 1 September 2 days after returning to NZ. Feels cool :)
leaving in a few hours so last for now
Okay spent quite a bit of time putting all my thinking from the last week which was saved on a memory stick. I'm leaving in a few hours so will log more about thoughts and my UK journey when I get there
:)
:)
a friend response to my veganism
a friend response
I feel bad in a way writing this but this is an example of a reason why the blog is semi anonymous. becoming vegan is a lifestyle change and it does impact on other people and how they relate to you. the only advice id give is dont give up. if youre making your secision for compassionate reasons and you feel inside it's right then just stay strong, keep getting the support you need and dont break down. it will come together.
ill call my friend Simon here. Someone I actually still regard as one of my best friends and in fact when i came to nz was the one person i knew here which is why i found the response so difficult at the time. im happy that a year on this person and family now have a vege day of the week and 'accepts' my veganism while being blocked from heading in that direction himself. i feel it's important to talk about this here again for me to keep my sanity, to connect with others who may have experienced the same and also just to show how big being vegan is and again how blind people sadly are right now a lot of the time to the beauty of it. i hope we can find ways to help them learn.
On becoming vegetarian Simon's response was 'why?' like it wasn't a decision that seemed to make any rational sense. i said how it was about compassionate living plus the diet was potentially healthier. if he said the word 'funny' once in the conversation he must of said it about 4 or 5 times. i regrettably didnt pull him up on it but none the less got through. it was just a phone conversation. i remember though as much as it was 'partly' a joke finding it odd as he said something along the lines of ' you cant be vegan though, if you become vegan we cant be friends anymore.' it was really strange and unsettling to hear that. he can be dry and has silly humour but
it gave me a strange unsettling kind of feeling particularly since i was actually thinking of becoming vegan. i thought well why would that impact on him anyway? as i enjoyed my new found health and lifestyle there were a few phone conversations some of which asked if i was
still vegetarian to which i obviously responded in the positive. it was the last one i remembered when i was asked this and responded 'ive actually been vegan for 3 weeks'.
i cant remember the rest of the conversation at all but i dont feel im exaggerating to say there was a strange unsettledness about the call then as if id somehow gone down
another path. it was a strange feeling and one i hope we dont have again.
it was a few weeks later when he actually came to visit and we had a conversation which im sadly not sure i will ever forget and really displayed the whole issue of becoming
vegan and its whole place in society and how it impacts on others etc. my being vegan has produced some sort of divide in our friendship on a level and i dont think
until that time after actually being good friends for years and years id actually ever felt on such a level that was so completely and utterly removed from when my friend
was coming from. still thinking back now the conversation just absolutely astounds me. maybe it was just an opening up of how different we really are im not sure but
we usually always have some familiarity but this time there wasn't any.
it was along the lines of. Simon: 'so this is just talking like, but do you disapprove of eating meat?'
Me: 'Well it seems its less healthy and less moral than not eating it. I'm seeing theres not much point.'
Simon: 'We got to where we are on the food chain by eating meat. We ate other animals so it makes sense we eat them.'
Me: 'Well actually humans are actually quite a lot more herbiverous in their body, there really doesnt seem much point.'
Simon: 'No, we're definitey omnivores, you see we have these teeth (points to corner teeth). We're meant to eat meat. Me and Emma (wife)
eat meat every day. There's 2 sides to every argument Phil.'
It was really interestung the last sentence keeping in mind this was at my home too just how incredibly defensive my friend was. He cut off me saying about herbivore
characteristics of a human and about any health or moral impacts of veganism. He also leaped to the strange claim that our corner teeth are omniverous and really
strikingly to me referred to an 'argument' and referred to me by name rather than the usual 'mate' etc. It felt very strange.
The conversation went on and became more bizarre in my view
Me: 'Well I'm just doing what I'm doing and enjoying it right now. It's been a good lifestyle.'
Simon: 'You see I was talking to Julie (housemate) and she really knows lots about food (I don't know why this person would know anything about food). She says
that there aren't complete proteins if you dont eat animals.
Me: 'No its actually okay. I have lots of friends who are vegetarian and you just eat different things.'
Simon: 'I mean if Emma asked me to go vegetarian for a month I'd say okay but if she wanted me to go vegan i'd want to know a really good reason. I mean
the stereotope of someone who's vegan.'
Simon went on to talk about an image of a man talking about not harming animals. Again I found the angle taken here absolutely bizarre.
Simon: 'If you think about eggs I mean you can get those eggs whereas chickens are treated really well and just roam around and their eggs are just picked up and they dont miss
them or anything.'
Me: 'I guess for me though it's still reinforcing eating eggs and I'm actually just not bothered about eating them.'
It's strange again the above the reinforcement on just not being vegan
Simon: 'So do you think you'd go back to eating eggs then?'
Me: 'Maybe I guess'.
I actually said the above just to appease him a little bit as it was seeming a bit weird.
After this time I seriously felt this rift and just kept more to myself and my personal development group and kept up. My friends said 'do't break down, just stay strong.'
there were strangely more responses i think via text. Simon said 'Me and Emma reckon your vegan power will just last so long then youll be digging into a steak soon.'
another said 'are you feeling all sad and depressed yet because of your unnatural diet?' i didnt buy into these
the last conversation i had i remember where my veganism was being judged was a phonecall when Simon said at the end: 'youre not still vegan are you?' I took a breath and
calmly replied 'Okay, I'm very happily vegan and i dont have any plans to change that.'
i write this story in detail because it feels important in terms of how people respond to being vegan. it highlights how reopening ally good well meaning people like Simon are
just not aware and are just in denial regarding what we eat. I hypothesise that the responses here which I wrote in detail are part of our knowing deep down somewhere that
what we are doing is wrong but its just too big a thing to acknowledge. my veganism was threatening to him and is threatening to him. im sure of it. it threatens a reality.
i read a post on facebook and i cant remember the author but it was along the lines of that it is easier to trick someone that convince someone that they have indeed been tricked.
i feel people in society who eat animals ad their secretions fit into this. they have simply been tricked and brainwashed. they don't want to know otherwise a lot of the time.
the response here makes me interested in what will happen back in the uk with othert friends and my needing to write here to stay good and strong in me. i know
im on the right path and i wont give up whatever anyone says. being in reality is what is important to me. i will write here about how i get on similarly.
I feel bad in a way writing this but this is an example of a reason why the blog is semi anonymous. becoming vegan is a lifestyle change and it does impact on other people and how they relate to you. the only advice id give is dont give up. if youre making your secision for compassionate reasons and you feel inside it's right then just stay strong, keep getting the support you need and dont break down. it will come together.
ill call my friend Simon here. Someone I actually still regard as one of my best friends and in fact when i came to nz was the one person i knew here which is why i found the response so difficult at the time. im happy that a year on this person and family now have a vege day of the week and 'accepts' my veganism while being blocked from heading in that direction himself. i feel it's important to talk about this here again for me to keep my sanity, to connect with others who may have experienced the same and also just to show how big being vegan is and again how blind people sadly are right now a lot of the time to the beauty of it. i hope we can find ways to help them learn.
On becoming vegetarian Simon's response was 'why?' like it wasn't a decision that seemed to make any rational sense. i said how it was about compassionate living plus the diet was potentially healthier. if he said the word 'funny' once in the conversation he must of said it about 4 or 5 times. i regrettably didnt pull him up on it but none the less got through. it was just a phone conversation. i remember though as much as it was 'partly' a joke finding it odd as he said something along the lines of ' you cant be vegan though, if you become vegan we cant be friends anymore.' it was really strange and unsettling to hear that. he can be dry and has silly humour but
it gave me a strange unsettling kind of feeling particularly since i was actually thinking of becoming vegan. i thought well why would that impact on him anyway? as i enjoyed my new found health and lifestyle there were a few phone conversations some of which asked if i was
still vegetarian to which i obviously responded in the positive. it was the last one i remembered when i was asked this and responded 'ive actually been vegan for 3 weeks'.
i cant remember the rest of the conversation at all but i dont feel im exaggerating to say there was a strange unsettledness about the call then as if id somehow gone down
another path. it was a strange feeling and one i hope we dont have again.
it was a few weeks later when he actually came to visit and we had a conversation which im sadly not sure i will ever forget and really displayed the whole issue of becoming
vegan and its whole place in society and how it impacts on others etc. my being vegan has produced some sort of divide in our friendship on a level and i dont think
until that time after actually being good friends for years and years id actually ever felt on such a level that was so completely and utterly removed from when my friend
was coming from. still thinking back now the conversation just absolutely astounds me. maybe it was just an opening up of how different we really are im not sure but
we usually always have some familiarity but this time there wasn't any.
it was along the lines of. Simon: 'so this is just talking like, but do you disapprove of eating meat?'
Me: 'Well it seems its less healthy and less moral than not eating it. I'm seeing theres not much point.'
Simon: 'We got to where we are on the food chain by eating meat. We ate other animals so it makes sense we eat them.'
Me: 'Well actually humans are actually quite a lot more herbiverous in their body, there really doesnt seem much point.'
Simon: 'No, we're definitey omnivores, you see we have these teeth (points to corner teeth). We're meant to eat meat. Me and Emma (wife)
eat meat every day. There's 2 sides to every argument Phil.'
It was really interestung the last sentence keeping in mind this was at my home too just how incredibly defensive my friend was. He cut off me saying about herbivore
characteristics of a human and about any health or moral impacts of veganism. He also leaped to the strange claim that our corner teeth are omniverous and really
strikingly to me referred to an 'argument' and referred to me by name rather than the usual 'mate' etc. It felt very strange.
The conversation went on and became more bizarre in my view
Me: 'Well I'm just doing what I'm doing and enjoying it right now. It's been a good lifestyle.'
Simon: 'You see I was talking to Julie (housemate) and she really knows lots about food (I don't know why this person would know anything about food). She says
that there aren't complete proteins if you dont eat animals.
Me: 'No its actually okay. I have lots of friends who are vegetarian and you just eat different things.'
Simon: 'I mean if Emma asked me to go vegetarian for a month I'd say okay but if she wanted me to go vegan i'd want to know a really good reason. I mean
the stereotope of someone who's vegan.'
Simon went on to talk about an image of a man talking about not harming animals. Again I found the angle taken here absolutely bizarre.
Simon: 'If you think about eggs I mean you can get those eggs whereas chickens are treated really well and just roam around and their eggs are just picked up and they dont miss
them or anything.'
Me: 'I guess for me though it's still reinforcing eating eggs and I'm actually just not bothered about eating them.'
It's strange again the above the reinforcement on just not being vegan
Simon: 'So do you think you'd go back to eating eggs then?'
Me: 'Maybe I guess'.
I actually said the above just to appease him a little bit as it was seeming a bit weird.
After this time I seriously felt this rift and just kept more to myself and my personal development group and kept up. My friends said 'do't break down, just stay strong.'
there were strangely more responses i think via text. Simon said 'Me and Emma reckon your vegan power will just last so long then youll be digging into a steak soon.'
another said 'are you feeling all sad and depressed yet because of your unnatural diet?' i didnt buy into these
the last conversation i had i remember where my veganism was being judged was a phonecall when Simon said at the end: 'youre not still vegan are you?' I took a breath and
calmly replied 'Okay, I'm very happily vegan and i dont have any plans to change that.'
i write this story in detail because it feels important in terms of how people respond to being vegan. it highlights how reopening ally good well meaning people like Simon are
just not aware and are just in denial regarding what we eat. I hypothesise that the responses here which I wrote in detail are part of our knowing deep down somewhere that
what we are doing is wrong but its just too big a thing to acknowledge. my veganism was threatening to him and is threatening to him. im sure of it. it threatens a reality.
i read a post on facebook and i cant remember the author but it was along the lines of that it is easier to trick someone that convince someone that they have indeed been tricked.
i feel people in society who eat animals ad their secretions fit into this. they have simply been tricked and brainwashed. they don't want to know otherwise a lot of the time.
the response here makes me interested in what will happen back in the uk with othert friends and my needing to write here to stay good and strong in me. i know
im on the right path and i wont give up whatever anyone says. being in reality is what is important to me. i will write here about how i get on similarly.
27.7. meat normalising
Have a cold now I've been trying to get through all week. So annoying but great I've finished work. Working on the Go Veg stall tomorrow will be great. I love passing on info about being vegan.
I've thought a lot today about Russel Howard who was on tv a few nights ago. Funny comedian. I saw him live in the UK once.
It reminded me though of a blog I read about 'the most difficult thing about being vegan' how well meaning people who are so sound in other ways routinely eat animals. He made a joke about going to the sandwich store and seeing the 'cruelty free' option. I guess we can assume this didn't contain animals. He then made a crack along the lines of the one he got being cruelty free still as it was a sausage roll meaning that the pig which would otherwise be cold was being wrapped nicely in
a blanket. Met with lots of laughter from the audience. He didn't seem in the least bit narcissistic in the way he expressed it but it couldn't help but stand out to me as obviously so cruel in relation to the rest of his jokes. It showed that whole complete normalising of such behaviour.
29.7. Highly sensitive person and vegan . 1 day to go
I think on my personal development journey and in my counselling when I read The highly sensitive person by Elaine Aron. It was about how 30% of the popuation have a more highly sensitive nervous system and how our society being more extrovert often makes it hard to find our own expression. I realised i was an infj too based on Myers Briggs personality test. I'd recommend anyone to do a free test. this is introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging. apparently the same as one of my heros Carl Jung which I liked.
Anyway I guess the book gave more grounding and support for people who are highly sensitive as those who are more behind the scenes, conscientious and thinking things through. My Veganism has helped me to ground that further in me for sure and feel happier with who I am. I wonder if the sensitivity to what i was doing beforehand was always inside as it must be for a lot
of people who eat meat but maybe causing my psyche even more damage. I have certainly become more peaceful in myself and in my outlook as a hope.
I've noticed how the sensitivity has become mixed with a strong compassion and ive become far more sensitive towards issues of racism and sexism too which I think is a good thing.
28.7. 2 days to go. skype conversation
friend: i know you dont eat it but we've started to eat a lot more fish these days. it's good for you.
me: little response
friend: would you ever consider eating fish?
me: erm no dont think so
I have tried to engage as much as i can but i just dont feel he'd ready to take things on board at all and forcing it will only make me the victim i feel. its so sad and frustrating.
28.7. 2 days to go. cool post on fb
28.7
just saw a great post on the badass vegan times on facebook: 'People are fed by the food industry which pays no attention to health, who are treated by the health industry which pays no attention to food.'
just saw a great post on the badass vegan times on facebook: 'People are fed by the food industry which pays no attention to health, who are treated by the health industry which pays no attention to food.'
natural argument and harming plants
The natural argument is always a stupid one. People saying that we are naturally something. This annoys me in a few ways. Firstly it annoys me since the human body does not have any omnivorous features. The only think ive found omnivorous about a human is some production of stomach acid for digestion which is similar to an omnivore. However in teeth, hands, digestive tract, the way the mouth opens we have all the traits of a herbivore. Meat eaters often point to our corner teeth
but these are still herbivore teeth. They are not for plunging into a cows neck and eating raw flesh.
Evolution seems to show that eating meat has perhaps been helpful at a certain point. In just my view and in reference to literature such as 'spiritual partnership by Gary Zukav' I would say that eating meat is a stage we are passing through spiritually whereas we change from a power over to a more authentic type of power based on communion.
The China study is interesting in its' conclusion that the optimum human diet is a vegan diet with a source of b12 and an added source of vitamin d should one reside in a colder climate. Some of the evidence can be interpreted a bit differently in that study i feel. I prefer books like diet for a new America which show all the illnesses linked with eating animal flesh and secretions.
I'm liking the way it is becoming studied by Psychologists. Dr Zab. Psychiatry for a mad world' seems really interesting. I want to get a full copy but haven't been able to yet. The conclusion that eating meat is a psychopathic act. Similarly Steven Harnad comes to similar conclusions. The idea is that since there is no reason to eat an animal then to do so or to be involved in the murder of an animal is a psychopathic act. Seems a reasonable conclusion.
Saying something is natural is not only frustrating in the sense that our body has practically zero omnivorous qualities but also in the sense it is like giving away power. It seems to me like someone saying to their partner it's natural for me to cheat. it seems time to take charge and really take responsibility. To show respect for ourselves as individuals connected to the world we are in and make good conscious choices.
The other one about what about ripping plants out of the ground? Well there is some point there. Maybe that does also hurt a plant. We know though that we can live without consuming sentient beings with a central nervous system. Perhaps in the future we wont have to harm plants either. maybe we'll find a way to fully live on fruit but right now that does seem totally unrealistic. We know we can thrive as vegans.
The problem seems to be to support people to have a shift in mindset and realise all the great food out there and that we do not cut out but we crowd out and we eat better. I always feel that we do not miss out on anything that's worth putting in a humans mouth.
A great grounding thing that doesn't take more time
Like a real grounding in what a human stands for. I remember a conversation with a friend and he was saying it was great in the sense that it's not an activity that ultimately takes more time. You learn some recipes etc then you're actually living the same time wise than you would be eating animals.
It's not like you're suddenly devoting 10 more hours to work as a volunteer for an animal shelter or something. At the same time though it feels so so sad that being Vegan should just
be a basic grounding for everyone. It's not actually special at all. It's just extremely basic courtesy.
Or even more than that it's just not being a complete c***. It's sad that it can't be seen like that.
It's not like you're suddenly devoting 10 more hours to work as a volunteer for an animal shelter or something. At the same time though it feels so so sad that being Vegan should just
be a basic grounding for everyone. It's not actually special at all. It's just extremely basic courtesy.
Or even more than that it's just not being a complete c***. It's sad that it can't be seen like that.
Denial
Denial is clearly so powerful. As the young man from American beauty said 'never underestimate the power of denial'. We can see this so clearly in action, operating below people's conscious level of awareness. The denial itself must be so unhealthy for us.
We say in Psychology that a level of denial can be functional. I agree with that. If we get rejected romantically it's okay to think if could've been different at a different time even though we really know it's not true. Those things help us to get by. But the actual fuel we put into our body, each day, the mass of the population having a complete detachment with what they put in their mouths, how it doesn't suit their body's and the lives this costs and the environmental damage.
It's like an underlying non stop mass holocaust and we don't even know. We can't see it.
We say in Psychology that a level of denial can be functional. I agree with that. If we get rejected romantically it's okay to think if could've been different at a different time even though we really know it's not true. Those things help us to get by. But the actual fuel we put into our body, each day, the mass of the population having a complete detachment with what they put in their mouths, how it doesn't suit their body's and the lives this costs and the environmental damage.
It's like an underlying non stop mass holocaust and we don't even know. We can't see it.
family response to my Veganism
Its funny, the title makes me think about someone coming out as being homosexual but becoming Vegan isnt that dramatic im sure but nonetheless is an opening up about a new lifestyle that you are now undertaking and feel strongly about. Ill discuss my family response here and other responses later. I've found in my last year that such responses can be very damaging to the whole cause and very supportive. People do often having stroing reactions to the negative about this and my thoughts around it are that it somewhat threatens their reality.
In being Vegan you are operating on the principle of 'Ahimsa'. A principle of no/minimal harm. The more dominant western model is more this dominating individualistic power over type of mentality. I feel it threatens because on a level you are now showing that you stand for something which is
fairly against what others stand for. It's a counter culture movement the same as feminism or someone who in the face of other obstances stands for some kind of fairer world.
I've struggled with this throughout my year. I've always been a bit quiet and being a therapist we practice notions of non judgement. In the last year i guess i've become stronger and realised that eating animals is wrong. it is inferior to not eating them on a health and ethical level and there isn't a counter argument. We believe (or know in fact) that being vegan is the way forward to make a better world and it is as a see it the least anyone can do. It's not each to their own. I am not militant and
difficult as it is will wholly support somewhat making small steps in this direction but at a core i do not support the consumption or use of animals or their secretions for diet or for other use. Sometimes its unavoidable, or we have old stuff. but I support the idea of doing the best we can to move away from this.
Anyway to my family. My background with them has been mixed at points. I had lots of issues with them when i was younger which lead me to counselling 12 years ago which was a life changing thing. I thought they'd be judgemental but incredibly they've been a great support through this. It almost lead me to think somehow that the time was all just right in the stars or whatever as stupid as it sounds. When i said about my vegetarianism my family said it was interesting I'd said that as they were looking into the same. This was on 2 angles.. partly my sister has been an animal lover all her life but had that paradox we vegans now maybe cruelly find a bit ironic of people eating animals while claiming to love them. She had however decided to be more vegetarian and cut down on eating animals. My folks were getting into it a bit too.
Interestingly my Dad had an issue with prostate cancer and his doctor recommended a complete elimination of dairy produce. I'm not sure if something about reducing meat too. My family after that point had stopped eating dairy and my Dad had been reading the work of Jane Plant who speaks a lot about this issue. Not got to her yet but heard her books are good. They asked me if I still ate
it. At the time I did have my few yogurts etc but said i was thinking about a change to Veganism. it was clear they were very supportive and have been throughout this time ever since. It is great knowing they're on my side for my trip back.. Can't help but keep thinking of the leather sofas at home though.... eeeek
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