Few hours to I go now. Stuff is all packed up. It has been a great trip. I had a dream last night whereby me and my family were going up the stairs of somewhere filling with water. I felt some fear like it was associated with the current issues with Syria. The water stopped when we got near the top and we had to wait there. It was a strange dream, not really horrible though.
I slept quite well last night with a bit of the electricity jolt type thing again which I do feel relates lots to my Vegan and not drinking life. It seems in particular maybe as I haven't been drinking at times I would've been doing in the past. It feels good though. Rather than heading into meaniglessness and numbing feelingds it's becoming more aware.
Last night I could look at my list and people to catch up with and know I'd seen everyone. Similarly I could reflect on how I felt happy about how I'd kept my Vegan sanity and related my Veganism with everyone well. Getting a friend the book because I felt they could be interested and sharing Vegan food with people. I really do feel I've found a part of my soul which was always lacking before.
On the tattoo front I felt last night I could almost go ahead with the one design I have now really. I'll just see what comes up over the next two weeks then will book in again. I will get it done soon. The labyrinth and sun shows a lot for me and just that desire to have a cool tattoo of meaning is all good now. That one design is 'good enough' I feel for sure. I'll see what else comes up then make a decision. I do hope for one more design of the labyrinth and sun then to go ahead.
I feel I took a risk maybe to send NZ friend Diet for a New America but feel even if it serves just as deflection it's worth it. It concerns me that as I become more connected and if he keeps going on about eating animals as acceptable then we will drift further. I need to keep cultivating and finding my way well.
I feel kind of good about the trip back and how I can make a good week. I want to make some plans and hope this writing can be ongoing to all parts of my mental health, particularly Vegan sanity but also around drinking, running and whatever else comes up. It feels good to think of the next few months and continuing this writing process.
Will add that I've really been enjoying reading 'The Lucky Ones'. Really attaches us more to that deeper meaning.
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