Thoughts about being in England generally

Off the topic of Veganism a bit I can't help but notice how completely detached I am from life here.  I am making sure I do everything I want to in this time which amounts to meeting people, enjoying Vegan life etc.  However as I see old places I used to hang out etc I just feel like I've moved on.  I love NZ and knew I wanted to live there..  Nonetheless I did feel that being here would strike up more sentimentality about my life here before but it's actually not doing it at all.  I know there were fun times but now it's almnost a bit more like... that really isn't so great at all even though it was fun then kind of thinking. Playing video games, my very old girlfriend, going out drinking, football, none of it felt like it was constructive.

In NZ I somehow feel like I'm growing a lot more constantly.  Here I can't help but almost feel a bit weird and trapped.  Ah that feeling when I got to NZ... I described it as 'unravelling'.  I've improved through being there.  Here I would never have become Vegan or running likely. I just can't imagine living here at all.

The whole thing with the Kundalini awakening was part of me being in NZ.  I don't feel that here.  Living here is unthinkable.  I just love seeing everyone here again but it isn't a part of who I am ultimately.  My time is now... in NZ and it's great to feel so good about where is now my home.  It was interesting someone talking tonight about finding NZ boring but I can't imagine it at all.  Here is kind of boring to me.. it's like a drudgery or would be if I lived here.  There's a kind of insular implosive kind of feeling.  It's not constructive and moving forward but rather kind of repressed.  Nz feels freer and like it's moving and growing and more about living life.  I feel more spiritual there and like I'm growing which is so cool.  I guess that's just where my journey took me.

I'l always remember my dream before I went to NZ which showed the anima complex and somehow becoming the newer me :) :) :)

I'm a bit worried because I want to make all I can of my trip and don't want to miss NZ.  I will do my best to live each day here as well as I can and I do feel I am doing that.  I have my list and will keep getting all I can from my trip here :)