Monday 26th. Run. Meeting an old friend. Football, football culture, ego and now Vegan

Today I met with an old friend at 2pm for a drink in the pub.  I stuck with soft drinks (see my other blog).  I chatted with him and his girlfriend which was really cool.  The only vegan thing that came up was him saying so I hear youre Vegan now.  I just said yeah it's been a lifestyle change in the last year and it's worked out really well.  There wasn't any judgement and it was just nice.

I got out for a run after. See my run blog. That went well.

Later I went to the football with my Dad. The first match for 4.5 years.  It was funny how a lot went through my mind.  I enjoyed the match.  An interesting 0-0 draw and nice to be at my childhood teams ground 'Old Trafford' again. 

I thought back to a few days ago when a friend posted something on the Vegan page of football fans celebrating with a slogan along the lines of 'how great would it be if these people could be so passionate about something that truly meant something'.

It made me think about what a big part of my life football has been.  Getting so excited, in tears over matches and now I truly feel I have accessed a deeper part of me.  The excitement is still there for football but I kind of realise there's something so ego about it.  I feel there must be some soul in the art form but I feel 99% of what all fans feel is all about ego.  I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant but it's my observation.  It's all about attachment to.  The excitement of the goal and winning.

It's strange to feel back on all that part of my life and wonder if it was all just a waste.  What did it really mean in the great scheme of things.  It was cool but maybe a lot was just surface that I misunderstood as having real depth.  I thought of everyone in Old Trafford.  Likely people who ate meat regularly.  The small proportion of Vegans and that brainwashed mentality of giving it no thought at all but looking away.

In my spiritual development group we speak of working with the heart (subduing it) and that makes sense.  Being vegan helps that so is such a great grounding in life.  It stops that attachment to things like football for me I guess.  I thought about the SAFE campaign of people holding the dead birds which I couldn't go to and made me think that that's what truly means something and a key to truly make a difference, by altering the foundations of how we eat.

Life is changing so much now.  It's so weird to think of all the football arguments and the stupid dramas around it when it should never be like that.  Great to really be looking at spiritual teachings and people like Gandhi and Einstein for what's important. I love how they talk about vegetarianism.  It does seem like my Veganism is something so true in m life that really makes sense.

Sunday 11 August. Selling stuff, charity shield, friend

Spent quite a bit of time in the morning selling stuff on ebay.  Was good to feel like I'm getting rid of stuff that I really don't need and will never use while getting some cash obviously in the process.  Had lots of good food throughout the morning.  Watched United and Wigan at 2 pm in the charity shield.  That was kind of cool although I spoke a lot on my dictaphone about my feelings around football.  How it's been such a big part of my life in the past and now although watching a game is kind of cool it seems linked with that whole brainwashed ego culture.  I feel I've moved on a lot and felt good about my cultivation in the spiritual development workshop and my Vegan lifestyle.  I feel they have certainly given me a much deeper connection to life than I had before and I'm really greatful for that.

I couldn't help but notice how horrible it seemed that the charity shield was sponsored by Mcdonalds.  It seemed so vile.  You could see it on all the adverts at the side of the pitch then at the end they announced the McDonalds man of the match. So vile!

It was good to meet friend in town in the evening and go to Ning.  It was great they had some good Vegan options highlighted as such.  I had one beer which was a San Miguel which I didn't know at the time if it was Vegan or not.  I wasn't bothered about drinking but Kelly had one and it felt like the right thing to do.  I thought of a friend who visited old friends and did go along a bit.  It felt like I was doing my best.  I found out today it is Vegan unless it's the Phillipines one.  I would rather not drink but do just go along a little socially.  I will find out a few more definite Vegan beers though so I'm safer in future.

It was a good night out having a meal and playing pool.  Just annoying that one train didn't come meaning I waited an hour at the station.  My main thoughts were around the football as above and also how I'm completely detached from drinking alcohol.  Although I haven't been drinking much at all in NZ for ages it has been coming back here I've really noticed it due to still doing it a reasonable amount up to when I left here at start of 2009. 

I recorded a lot of thoughts about this on my dictaphone.  It seems strange that it's something that was the source of so much fun from being 16 and still good few drinks every week or so at 28 almost 29.  Now though I genuinely have no interest at all.  I feel happy I've got to that stage and feel it can only be a progression.  I feel happy that I've moved on and somehow have a deeper connection to life than I used to have and it seems to be deepening.