Had a great dinner out at Purplse Pakora again with Mum, Dad, sister and Gran. Was a really great curry again. I had a vegetable dansak the same as last time. Was really great. No issues whatsoever throughout the whole of the day again regarding being Vegan. It would seem the mission to be veganly sane throughout my trip has gone really well. There are no other major challenges expected. It has been much much better than expected and just a new journey of my experience as a Vegan to actually come back and be comfortable with me being Vegan.
Today (29.8) I thought a lot about my friendship with my long term NZ friend and the rift my being Vegan has caused but I know that it is right and I will keep cultivating myself well with my spiritual development group to develop my compassion well and my Vegan friends to get that support to keep making the right decision forward whatever that is.
It has been a wonderful trip. Last night I really enjoyed not drinking alcohol again although I did feel some temptation I really realised as I slept so peacefully (that was it, peace, a profound sense of peace) that it was a really great thing to not drink alcohol. I am crowding it out. Love and Peace as a friend sometimes says on her messages. I have more of a sense of that now.
Today is feeling somewhat stressful as I'll have my bye to make to Gran. I feel not taking her home is best to stop it being too sad. That holding on to that last moment doesn't seem right to me. I'm not sure if I'm cutting off emotion. It rather just seems emotionally responsible. I'm really thinking that getting a taxi tomorrow would be best too. I'm going to introduce that later. Again I just don't like making it sad unnecessarily. It feels weird and not appropriate. I just want to obviously feel what's important to feel but have that good adapatation to change, like I've had a great time and we're all moving on with life and all understanding. That seems the way.
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Sunday, 25 August 2013
23rd to 25th. Trip to Newcastle
Arrived and my friend had made a Vegan curry which was great. I was really grateful for their consideration and thanked them for this. There were only a few questions just asking about my becoming vegan and I was able to be very cool and calm about it. It was good that at no point did I feel I was being hassled or anything. It was interesting how they mentioned sometimes enjoying having some vegetarian food and mentioned too how one of their parents was quite anti vegan food if they were out and it was offered as an option... a kind of but none of us are vegetarian kind of response. It made me think again of that quite rigid thinking. I think too of the idea that eating meat is in fact a cult. I'm thinking this could be a topic to write more about. My friend in NZ had this same quite rigid thinking and is dominant in meat eating. I guess similarly without really knowing why and being closed to change. The meat eating cult again.
The next day we had a lunch out and it was easy for me to veganise a salad I had without the cheese that would've come with it. They had some soy milk in which was good so I was able to have some nice cereal and fruit which was cool. I appreciated that. My friends ate meat but I felt cool and happy that they were doing their thing and being respectful to mine.
It's interesting again though as deep down I don't ultimately respect people actually eating meat. well I respect the people but I don't feel they are aware enough to make the best choice. I've tried to understand this and I guess it's fair for me to understand and respect where people are at right now and that I can help them move forward. I get upset when people are judgemental of my Veganism when I guess I'm the same about them but the thing is it isn't each to their own as I've said before. We are leading the movement forward. Is it self righteous? well it's certainly righteous but I think self -righteous is a negative term. As Vegans we do guide the way forward for the way to eat. It's something I firmly believe doesn't have a counter argument ultimately, like Feminism doesn't or equal rights for black and white people doesn't. It's a positive social movement and we are pioneering this change. It's that responsibility I need to keep coming to terms with and proudly take on board as part of my responsibility to the world.
On Saturday night I made a curry from the step by step menu from the Revive book which was great and I sent them the recipe when I got back. I hope that can help them a bit. I did say you could put other things into it as I felt that was best to be kind and not indoctrinating but hope they can make a choice to have a vegan day or to make some even minor steps in that direction.
I felt great on Saturday night to not drink alcohol and had just one the day before (more in my other blog). I had a few dreams too which I think were linked to this. Again in my other alcohol blog.
This morning I was able to get lunch at a coffee shop and veganise their vegetarian breakfast by having battered potato rather than an egg. Was happy I came through it all well. I got the train back feeling all cool and calm like it had been a very pleasant weekend.
The next day we had a lunch out and it was easy for me to veganise a salad I had without the cheese that would've come with it. They had some soy milk in which was good so I was able to have some nice cereal and fruit which was cool. I appreciated that. My friends ate meat but I felt cool and happy that they were doing their thing and being respectful to mine.
It's interesting again though as deep down I don't ultimately respect people actually eating meat. well I respect the people but I don't feel they are aware enough to make the best choice. I've tried to understand this and I guess it's fair for me to understand and respect where people are at right now and that I can help them move forward. I get upset when people are judgemental of my Veganism when I guess I'm the same about them but the thing is it isn't each to their own as I've said before. We are leading the movement forward. Is it self righteous? well it's certainly righteous but I think self -righteous is a negative term. As Vegans we do guide the way forward for the way to eat. It's something I firmly believe doesn't have a counter argument ultimately, like Feminism doesn't or equal rights for black and white people doesn't. It's a positive social movement and we are pioneering this change. It's that responsibility I need to keep coming to terms with and proudly take on board as part of my responsibility to the world.
On Saturday night I made a curry from the step by step menu from the Revive book which was great and I sent them the recipe when I got back. I hope that can help them a bit. I did say you could put other things into it as I felt that was best to be kind and not indoctrinating but hope they can make a choice to have a vegan day or to make some even minor steps in that direction.
I felt great on Saturday night to not drink alcohol and had just one the day before (more in my other blog). I had a few dreams too which I think were linked to this. Again in my other alcohol blog.
This morning I was able to get lunch at a coffee shop and veganise their vegetarian breakfast by having battered potato rather than an egg. Was happy I came through it all well. I got the train back feeling all cool and calm like it had been a very pleasant weekend.
Monday, 29 July 2013
How has your becoming Vegan changed your life?
I was just interested in getting some different experiences. We could all share a little.
I must apologise for not sharing mine initially. My veganism has changed me in a lot of ways. It seems to have brought a deepening to my whole life experience. I feel more sensitive to everything while at the same time feeling stronger and more compassionate. Somehow I feel like I have a more solid foundation. I feel I have become more spiritual through the process, less egotistical and a greater willingness to just let go and let be so to speak. It has been a difficult process to let go and realise so much while at the same time being a very enlightening one. I rank becoming vegan as one of the most landmark important things I've done in my life so far.
How about you? :)
I must apologise for not sharing mine initially. My veganism has changed me in a lot of ways. It seems to have brought a deepening to my whole life experience. I feel more sensitive to everything while at the same time feeling stronger and more compassionate. Somehow I feel like I have a more solid foundation. I feel I have become more spiritual through the process, less egotistical and a greater willingness to just let go and let be so to speak. It has been a difficult process to let go and realise so much while at the same time being a very enlightening one. I rank becoming vegan as one of the most landmark important things I've done in my life so far.
How about you? :)
feeling of death, kundalini awakening, opening chakras and tattoos
just realised my stuff is packed so putting some more thoughts on from my memory stick
i dont want to sound dramatic or pretentios but as i said this blog is just me keeping sanity and i want to log my story. im my first vegan year it was one of the most difficult times ive had. its difficult to say if it was all about being vegan but it was a very very difficult time. okay i admit it, it was maybe the most difficult time of my life. im still not so sure why exactly.
i moved house a few moths after i became vegan. a great house share i had ended due to a housemate not taking on the lease then i had a fxxxxxx horrible nightmare 6 weeks living with a girl who seemed an anti vegan and i cant help but feel was somewhat threatened by my lifetsyle. i did my best to be reasonable although she remained adamant that i didnt eat properly. living their was my worst time in NZ. I then moved out of desparation to another really expensive house where i stayed for 4 months. kind of boarding house style with 8 people. no one was vege, everyone was sound enough but it was never home for me. it was finally in april i moved to my new vegan house and suddenly
felt so much more settled like things were getting better.
looking back over the last year i dont think ive had a time where so much change has occurred and ive felt so different from one year to the next. ive changed on a deep fundamental level through becoming vegan. my attitudes have evolved. i relate to a whole new group of people and have found a whole new kinship and belonging ive never had before and i still feel im just at the start which all excites. plus i can somehow cook a few cool things. i used to have the standard boring meat meals, now its so much better. anyway back to story.
in this time spoke to my counselling mentor a lot more. there were a few months went by when i was driving myself somehow trying to keep moving forward but it was like
something deeper was changing in me. my mentor said i was going through a deep transformational process. she said how when she was my age she had a really dramatic one
whereas she almost committed suicide. i certainly didnt feel that bad but i felt this disclosure comforting.
looking back maybe it was just all about feeling something on such a deep level that other people didnt see. i think of the big house i was in and people always making steak and
bacon and once almost wretching at the smell of it. i guess my new home now made the difference because i knew i was with people who felt the same as i did.
it was interesting when i came through i suddenly started to get an idea id get a tattoo. so not the old me but feels more me now. its actually planned for when i get back from my uk trip. its going to be on my back and ill have a labyrinth mandala fused with a native american sun and another sun. the labyrinth is a symbol of birth, death, rebirth abd progress. the native american sun is a symbol of the healing arts and of peace (to embrace my counselling and veganism), the other sun will be to show the self conquering the shadow. i started to find the whole idea quite romantic. I found this site about
mandalas which I found inspiring. I read this cool book on tattoos too
something strange happened in the last few weeks too as i meditated ive started to feel jolts like electricity passing through my body. its actually a good feeling and i know
its constructive. ive read into it and research around kundalini awakening say it can be chakras opening or if theyre already opening the left over crap of the past coming
out. ah and the native american sun also has 7 rays representing the 7 chakras so again fits.
i guess the idea of a tattoo as a kind of symbol of a new me, my individual self and my rite of passage to my new life. ive never been a bastard i dont think but theres
stupid ways ive behaved in the past that i feel arent really who i want to be and now im more me than ive ever been and i want some symbol of how i came through a tough
time to a more evolved sense of me. it is a time ill always remember. im glad the darkness has ended now.
I've actually booked in to have my tattoo done on 1 September 2 days after returning to NZ. Feels cool :)
i dont want to sound dramatic or pretentios but as i said this blog is just me keeping sanity and i want to log my story. im my first vegan year it was one of the most difficult times ive had. its difficult to say if it was all about being vegan but it was a very very difficult time. okay i admit it, it was maybe the most difficult time of my life. im still not so sure why exactly.
i moved house a few moths after i became vegan. a great house share i had ended due to a housemate not taking on the lease then i had a fxxxxxx horrible nightmare 6 weeks living with a girl who seemed an anti vegan and i cant help but feel was somewhat threatened by my lifetsyle. i did my best to be reasonable although she remained adamant that i didnt eat properly. living their was my worst time in NZ. I then moved out of desparation to another really expensive house where i stayed for 4 months. kind of boarding house style with 8 people. no one was vege, everyone was sound enough but it was never home for me. it was finally in april i moved to my new vegan house and suddenly
felt so much more settled like things were getting better.
looking back over the last year i dont think ive had a time where so much change has occurred and ive felt so different from one year to the next. ive changed on a deep fundamental level through becoming vegan. my attitudes have evolved. i relate to a whole new group of people and have found a whole new kinship and belonging ive never had before and i still feel im just at the start which all excites. plus i can somehow cook a few cool things. i used to have the standard boring meat meals, now its so much better. anyway back to story.
in this time spoke to my counselling mentor a lot more. there were a few months went by when i was driving myself somehow trying to keep moving forward but it was like
something deeper was changing in me. my mentor said i was going through a deep transformational process. she said how when she was my age she had a really dramatic one
whereas she almost committed suicide. i certainly didnt feel that bad but i felt this disclosure comforting.
looking back maybe it was just all about feeling something on such a deep level that other people didnt see. i think of the big house i was in and people always making steak and
bacon and once almost wretching at the smell of it. i guess my new home now made the difference because i knew i was with people who felt the same as i did.
it was interesting when i came through i suddenly started to get an idea id get a tattoo. so not the old me but feels more me now. its actually planned for when i get back from my uk trip. its going to be on my back and ill have a labyrinth mandala fused with a native american sun and another sun. the labyrinth is a symbol of birth, death, rebirth abd progress. the native american sun is a symbol of the healing arts and of peace (to embrace my counselling and veganism), the other sun will be to show the self conquering the shadow. i started to find the whole idea quite romantic. I found this site about
mandalas which I found inspiring. I read this cool book on tattoos too
something strange happened in the last few weeks too as i meditated ive started to feel jolts like electricity passing through my body. its actually a good feeling and i know
its constructive. ive read into it and research around kundalini awakening say it can be chakras opening or if theyre already opening the left over crap of the past coming
out. ah and the native american sun also has 7 rays representing the 7 chakras so again fits.
i guess the idea of a tattoo as a kind of symbol of a new me, my individual self and my rite of passage to my new life. ive never been a bastard i dont think but theres
stupid ways ive behaved in the past that i feel arent really who i want to be and now im more me than ive ever been and i want some symbol of how i came through a tough
time to a more evolved sense of me. it is a time ill always remember. im glad the darkness has ended now.
I've actually booked in to have my tattoo done on 1 September 2 days after returning to NZ. Feels cool :)
My new blog and why...
So i started this blog just to keep my sanity while on my trip back to the uk. ive been in nz 4.5 years and its just in the last year (11 June 2012) I became vegan, after 6 weeks of vegetarianism. i thought writing would help to ground my experience and i thought blogging might just help a connection
with someone else out there who understands and feels what its like to vegan in a world that is so non-vegan.
Ive kept the blog semi anonymous and just shared amongst some vegan friends or those interested. I didnt want to share on my main facebook page out of concern it could seem somewhat objectifying to other friends in the UK as I may say about things that happen in my new interactions with them
now as a vegan trying to stay sane although obviously I'll change their names.
Its important to say too that my primary purpose is for fun and my sanity. im not trying to write or present to an audience or be anything im not. Im aware there may be some 'audience effect' due to knowing some people who may read this but i want to be me as much as possible. I will
not write in a way particularly to entertain but just to keep me grounded. I just want it to be me being me as much as possible. So if you don't like me or you think my blog's crap or whatever, thats okay. I want to look back and know thats how i felt at that time and what i was experiencing
as my reality for me.
I just know from my experience over the last year i have really enjoyed sometimes reading the experiences of others who are vegan in such a non vegan world. Sometimes ive learned something new or thought about something in a new way. Sometimes its just been nice to know someone is going through something similar. That was why i thought it would be cool to
put into a blog.
My blog will have a lot about day to day events in the uk and how i get on generally and particularly as a vegan interacting again. It will also have a lot of my vegan thoughts just before my trip and generally. i feel so strongly about being vegan and its such a part of me that i want to write about it. Again you dont have to like it but its just me.
My original blog messed up somehow so I'm now back logging stuff from there I've been keeping on a memory stick. I leave for the UK tonight :)
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