27 August. Saying bye to 2 people

Today I met an old good friend and we went for a walk out again.  I was able to take over some Vegan cake for him and his girlfriend which felt cool just to express that sharing of Vegan stuff and to be integrated and involving and promoting.  It was strange as I guess at the end it was a saying bye really.  We hadn't seen eqach other for 4.5 years until this last month and now it will likely be atleast another couple.  There was a handshake.  he's not a man hug type of guy and that's okay.  I felt good in the sense of being a person now who can cope and work well with change.  I think of Tao masters I've met who have this overall connection to things and seem able to understand more that fundamental idea that change is the only constant.  I'm getting better at that it seems but I'm not there yet.  I'm hoping to feel that in the rest of my trip as I finish off.

At night I visited a cool girl -friend.  We joke we are like brother and sister. I felt sadder leaving her than my friend earlier but it was all good on the whole.  I do feel it's important not to make it too sad.  We had some nice times and we'll keep in contact.  We have good affinity with one another I believe and we'll meet when we're meant to.

She said thanks for Diet for a New America but doesn't want to read the factory farm stuff.  That's all good and fair. She is vegetarian anyway.  Hopefully she'll enjoy the health stuff.

As I write this it's interesting over hearing my folks and sister talk.  My Dad is speaking about the cruelty of the current killing of badgers for supposedly weeing on hey causing the cows to get ill.  My Dad is saying why can't it be just fenced off properly rather than shooting them.  My sister's reply was 'we need to all just become vegan'.  It's cool to hear that as I write this as sad as it is.

I've started to The Lucky Ones by Jenny Brown.  A very Veganesque book.  About a lady's fight to help farm animals.  It makes me so sad that so many people aren't able to open their eyes more.  Again thinking back to the blog post about the hardest thing about being Vegan.

15th night and 16th morning

Had an interesting night out with 2 friends last night.  Was actually good on the whole while making me realise I'm in that phase of just becoming more strongly Vegan over time and becoming the new me more and more.  We went to 3 pubs and I have to just admit I didn't feel strongly enough in my new identity to not drink alcohol although did my best to search for Vegan beers.  Whereas I'm confortable on the whole as a Vegan I'm not comfortable in my pretty much non drinking self.  That's something that's still developing.

I had a bottle of Peroni and 2 bottles on Tiger.  I knew Tiger was Vegan and found out today Peroni was which made me happy.  The atmosphere was actually really pleasant and I wasn't drunk enough to fall into silly arguments.  I imagine if my other friend from NZ had been there that could've happenend.  I'm just a bit annoyed I didn't feel good enough to go for a run today.  I feel though maybe between now and my next visit here I will more solidify myself as a non drinker I feel and hope anyway.  Whereas I do enjoy the little buzz to some degree it is something I have crowded out and just enjoy the feeling without it more and my greater sense of clarity e.g. going for a run this morning would've felt good.

While out I was asked about if I stopped buying stuff like leather which I replied I had.  There was a bit of conversation happened to come up somehow about animals being killed and I was able to mention Earthlings.  Not in an indoctrinating way but just a passing on of information.  I said I would recommend anyone watch it once.  It seems it planted the seed.

It was interesting as I really noticed the whole thing I read in this blog 'The hardest thing about being vegan' about well meaning people just not being interested or being blinded to think it's okay to eat animals.  In a totally non narcissistic way as we briefly discussed Earthings my friend asked what animals you see being killed and I said about the cows, chickens etc.  My friend said jokingly, oh just ones that are food then.

It was really interesting.  My friend is just a really good guy and writing this now makes it sound like a deliberate cruel thing to say but I could tell from the way he said it there wasn't any knowing genuine malice at all in his voice or attitude.  He just hasn't woke up yet.

we walked around and my friends made a couple of jokes about the different shops such as the cheese shop which I would have no use for.  All of this actually felt pretty good natured humour which didn't bother me.  I was happy though I hadn't drank more and another friend wasnt there as I think I could've potentially bought into more of an argument which he no doubt would've pushed so I'll be careful when I see him back in NZ.

My friend also told me about his girlfriend having a Folie Gras burger.  I couldn't remember what it was but then remembered.   He joked about how this is made.  It really saddens me writing this because again I know he's not a malicious person at all but is just completely desensitised to this and just sees it as the norm as so many others do.  I kind of shrugged it off with a joke 'Noooooo!!!'

I hope between now and my next trip I can become stronger in me as a Vegan and in my non drinker identity.  That seems the way forward.  Although drinking isn't non vegan it somehow seems to go hand in hand to work to eliminate it due to being more conscious and spiritual perhaps.  Maybe then I can be a better Vegan advocate too and be taken more seriously.  All a step at a time I guess.

I'm happy I definitely won't be drinking alcohol today.