Just thinking more about the whole ethical grounding veganism seems to give in my life. It is like a foundation which at it's core separates me from certain people as I said before. I feel like I've found a really positive set of values around compassionate living etc which I don't want to give up ever.
I feel I will keep looking after me and finding that way to disengage from others who may want to disrupt that where necessary. I feel my tattoo project is cool and I will look forward to getting that.
I feel separating myself is good and becoming more distinguished as being my own man. I can feel my intuition and that needing to pay attention to it and notice the signs that pop up every now and again around people and have the belief to keep acting on those.
I feel this weekend can be great with my SAFE work and also with meeting cool friends and reading, relaxing, maybe bit of video games. Catching up on sleep is all good too.
Friday, 6 September 2013
Thursday, 5 September 2013
thinking about the ethical stance as on facebook and the friends link
I think a lot about how Veganism has changed me in creating this real ethical foundation in my character. It's like it has grounded me and I feel kind of scared in the sense that a long term friend I don't feel as bothered about. I feel like it's created a real shift and like we are fundamentally very different. I guess the link with the spiritual development group and that real grounding of compassion as the source. Eating meat is Psychopathic. That real blindness and just refusing to look. That just trying to crowd over other people rather than the foundation of peace.
I feel I got through the phonecall all day and will keep my foundation there as well as I can and keep monitoring it on here. I do still feel very veganly sane. It links with my no drinking thing too I guess.
I feel I got through the phonecall all day and will keep my foundation there as well as I can and keep monitoring it on here. I do still feel very veganly sane. It links with my no drinking thing too I guess.
Friday, 30 August 2013
3 hours to leaving. 30.8.13
Few hours to I go now. Stuff is all packed up. It has been a great trip. I had a dream last night whereby me and my family were going up the stairs of somewhere filling with water. I felt some fear like it was associated with the current issues with Syria. The water stopped when we got near the top and we had to wait there. It was a strange dream, not really horrible though.
I slept quite well last night with a bit of the electricity jolt type thing again which I do feel relates lots to my Vegan and not drinking life. It seems in particular maybe as I haven't been drinking at times I would've been doing in the past. It feels good though. Rather than heading into meaniglessness and numbing feelingds it's becoming more aware.
Last night I could look at my list and people to catch up with and know I'd seen everyone. Similarly I could reflect on how I felt happy about how I'd kept my Vegan sanity and related my Veganism with everyone well. Getting a friend the book because I felt they could be interested and sharing Vegan food with people. I really do feel I've found a part of my soul which was always lacking before.
On the tattoo front I felt last night I could almost go ahead with the one design I have now really. I'll just see what comes up over the next two weeks then will book in again. I will get it done soon. The labyrinth and sun shows a lot for me and just that desire to have a cool tattoo of meaning is all good now. That one design is 'good enough' I feel for sure. I'll see what else comes up then make a decision. I do hope for one more design of the labyrinth and sun then to go ahead.
I feel I took a risk maybe to send NZ friend Diet for a New America but feel even if it serves just as deflection it's worth it. It concerns me that as I become more connected and if he keeps going on about eating animals as acceptable then we will drift further. I need to keep cultivating and finding my way well.
I feel kind of good about the trip back and how I can make a good week. I want to make some plans and hope this writing can be ongoing to all parts of my mental health, particularly Vegan sanity but also around drinking, running and whatever else comes up. It feels good to think of the next few months and continuing this writing process.
Will add that I've really been enjoying reading 'The Lucky Ones'. Really attaches us more to that deeper meaning.
I slept quite well last night with a bit of the electricity jolt type thing again which I do feel relates lots to my Vegan and not drinking life. It seems in particular maybe as I haven't been drinking at times I would've been doing in the past. It feels good though. Rather than heading into meaniglessness and numbing feelingds it's becoming more aware.
Last night I could look at my list and people to catch up with and know I'd seen everyone. Similarly I could reflect on how I felt happy about how I'd kept my Vegan sanity and related my Veganism with everyone well. Getting a friend the book because I felt they could be interested and sharing Vegan food with people. I really do feel I've found a part of my soul which was always lacking before.
On the tattoo front I felt last night I could almost go ahead with the one design I have now really. I'll just see what comes up over the next two weeks then will book in again. I will get it done soon. The labyrinth and sun shows a lot for me and just that desire to have a cool tattoo of meaning is all good now. That one design is 'good enough' I feel for sure. I'll see what else comes up then make a decision. I do hope for one more design of the labyrinth and sun then to go ahead.
I feel I took a risk maybe to send NZ friend Diet for a New America but feel even if it serves just as deflection it's worth it. It concerns me that as I become more connected and if he keeps going on about eating animals as acceptable then we will drift further. I need to keep cultivating and finding my way well.
I feel kind of good about the trip back and how I can make a good week. I want to make some plans and hope this writing can be ongoing to all parts of my mental health, particularly Vegan sanity but also around drinking, running and whatever else comes up. It feels good to think of the next few months and continuing this writing process.
Will add that I've really been enjoying reading 'The Lucky Ones'. Really attaches us more to that deeper meaning.
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Saying bye to Gran and accepting folks drive to airport
Said bye to Gran tonight which was sad but not too sad. It was good I made the decision not to drive her home which seems like trying to make things sad which just isn't necessaary. I packed a few things and am getting some good feelings about what it will be like back in Auckland. Still a bit tense about the whole flight but know I'll be fine when I'm on there.
My folks spoke today about driving me to the airport so clear that's what they want and I feel happy going along with it really for their sake while being in good management of myself throughout and managing my emotions through it all. It has been a really great trip and I do hope to come back in 2 years. :) :) :)
My folks spoke today about driving me to the airport so clear that's what they want and I feel happy going along with it really for their sake while being in good management of myself throughout and managing my emotions through it all. It has been a really great trip and I do hope to come back in 2 years. :) :) :)
Farewell dinner out. 28.8.13
Had a great dinner out at Purplse Pakora again with Mum, Dad, sister and Gran. Was a really great curry again. I had a vegetable dansak the same as last time. Was really great. No issues whatsoever throughout the whole of the day again regarding being Vegan. It would seem the mission to be veganly sane throughout my trip has gone really well. There are no other major challenges expected. It has been much much better than expected and just a new journey of my experience as a Vegan to actually come back and be comfortable with me being Vegan.
Today (29.8) I thought a lot about my friendship with my long term NZ friend and the rift my being Vegan has caused but I know that it is right and I will keep cultivating myself well with my spiritual development group to develop my compassion well and my Vegan friends to get that support to keep making the right decision forward whatever that is.
It has been a wonderful trip. Last night I really enjoyed not drinking alcohol again although I did feel some temptation I really realised as I slept so peacefully (that was it, peace, a profound sense of peace) that it was a really great thing to not drink alcohol. I am crowding it out. Love and Peace as a friend sometimes says on her messages. I have more of a sense of that now.
Today is feeling somewhat stressful as I'll have my bye to make to Gran. I feel not taking her home is best to stop it being too sad. That holding on to that last moment doesn't seem right to me. I'm not sure if I'm cutting off emotion. It rather just seems emotionally responsible. I'm really thinking that getting a taxi tomorrow would be best too. I'm going to introduce that later. Again I just don't like making it sad unnecessarily. It feels weird and not appropriate. I just want to obviously feel what's important to feel but have that good adapatation to change, like I've had a great time and we're all moving on with life and all understanding. That seems the way.
Today (29.8) I thought a lot about my friendship with my long term NZ friend and the rift my being Vegan has caused but I know that it is right and I will keep cultivating myself well with my spiritual development group to develop my compassion well and my Vegan friends to get that support to keep making the right decision forward whatever that is.
It has been a wonderful trip. Last night I really enjoyed not drinking alcohol again although I did feel some temptation I really realised as I slept so peacefully (that was it, peace, a profound sense of peace) that it was a really great thing to not drink alcohol. I am crowding it out. Love and Peace as a friend sometimes says on her messages. I have more of a sense of that now.
Today is feeling somewhat stressful as I'll have my bye to make to Gran. I feel not taking her home is best to stop it being too sad. That holding on to that last moment doesn't seem right to me. I'm not sure if I'm cutting off emotion. It rather just seems emotionally responsible. I'm really thinking that getting a taxi tomorrow would be best too. I'm going to introduce that later. Again I just don't like making it sad unnecessarily. It feels weird and not appropriate. I just want to obviously feel what's important to feel but have that good adapatation to change, like I've had a great time and we're all moving on with life and all understanding. That seems the way.
Wednesday, 28 August 2013
28 August so far. dentist and my new tattoo design
Well the day started off by getting a sample tattoo design, see above. I'm just letting it sit with me for a while. It all seemed more real when it came through. I want it to have a labyrinth but wasn't sure of that one on the design at first but now thinking it could be good. I wanted it to have the native american sun symbol with the seven rays but wanted it to look organic too. It looked a bit bland just as it was originally. This has 7 rays which are longer and I do particularly like the dotted artwork. The labyrinth again will embrace birth death rebirth and progress. the traditional sun symbolises similar things but the particular native american sun is about peace and the healing arts. I'm wondering if it has enough of that in. I'm going to cancel my appointment on monday anyway but I'll get a new design coming through too with the other labyrinth design. I'm going to sit on it a bit to make sure it's just right. I want to make sure it is really what I want.
Went to the dentist and got 2 fillings. Never a great experience but glad it's out of the way. i think the anaesthetic has made me feel a bit odd too. Didn't sleep so well or so long last night either. I was up late last night and kind of needed a bit more time to rest. I really want to wrap up my trip nicely and make a smoothe transition back. It's been a lovely trip with no Vegan issues.
As I write again I hear my parents looking at my new book I mentioned in the last post and discussing the cruelty of debeaking. It's great they're getting more aware. 'They have no right debeaking them' were my Dad's words. Good on him.
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
Tattoo update
Well I've been booked in to get my tattoo since before I came here. I was due to get it on Monday next week in the morning. I've been excited but never heard back from the Tattoo artist in the first 2 weeks of August as expected. I had mailed a few times and never heard back. I was actually going to mail to cancel and say I was a little disappointed not to hear. I'm glad I didn't do that. I decided to phone and she said she had been ridiculously busy. Although she didn't say as much it seemed that she had somehow forgot about my appointment next monday. I will now get the design in the next few days then will cancel my appointment and sit with the design. I still hope to get it in good time before the marathon. I wanted it when I got back really but a bit later will be okay. I thought it would've been a nice coming back treat and affirmation somehow but nevermind.
I was thinking it may not be meaning to be but it still seems most likely on the cards and I'll just keep following myself with it all and what feels right. I've been tempted to mention it to people but have barely done at all other than my tattood friends really when it's come up. I guess it is very personal and individual. I do feel like I'll be more me somehow. Not something to rush into. I wish it could've been sorted by now but now it seems best to get the design and really get it sorted aiming for over the next month or so. :)
Anyone like to share anything about their tattooing experiences? Any tattoos with particular meanings to you?
I was thinking it may not be meaning to be but it still seems most likely on the cards and I'll just keep following myself with it all and what feels right. I've been tempted to mention it to people but have barely done at all other than my tattood friends really when it's come up. I guess it is very personal and individual. I do feel like I'll be more me somehow. Not something to rush into. I wish it could've been sorted by now but now it seems best to get the design and really get it sorted aiming for over the next month or so. :)
Anyone like to share anything about their tattooing experiences? Any tattoos with particular meanings to you?
27 August. Saying bye to 2 people
Today I met an old good friend and we went for a walk out again. I was able to take over some Vegan cake for him and his girlfriend which felt cool just to express that sharing of Vegan stuff and to be integrated and involving and promoting. It was strange as I guess at the end it was a saying bye really. We hadn't seen eqach other for 4.5 years until this last month and now it will likely be atleast another couple. There was a handshake. he's not a man hug type of guy and that's okay. I felt good in the sense of being a person now who can cope and work well with change. I think of Tao masters I've met who have this overall connection to things and seem able to understand more that fundamental idea that change is the only constant. I'm getting better at that it seems but I'm not there yet. I'm hoping to feel that in the rest of my trip as I finish off.
At night I visited a cool girl -friend. We joke we are like brother and sister. I felt sadder leaving her than my friend earlier but it was all good on the whole. I do feel it's important not to make it too sad. We had some nice times and we'll keep in contact. We have good affinity with one another I believe and we'll meet when we're meant to.
She said thanks for Diet for a New America but doesn't want to read the factory farm stuff. That's all good and fair. She is vegetarian anyway. Hopefully she'll enjoy the health stuff.
As I write this it's interesting over hearing my folks and sister talk. My Dad is speaking about the cruelty of the current killing of badgers for supposedly weeing on hey causing the cows to get ill. My Dad is saying why can't it be just fenced off properly rather than shooting them. My sister's reply was 'we need to all just become vegan'. It's cool to hear that as I write this as sad as it is.
I've started to The Lucky Ones by Jenny Brown. A very Veganesque book. About a lady's fight to help farm animals. It makes me so sad that so many people aren't able to open their eyes more. Again thinking back to the blog post about the hardest thing about being Vegan.
At night I visited a cool girl -friend. We joke we are like brother and sister. I felt sadder leaving her than my friend earlier but it was all good on the whole. I do feel it's important not to make it too sad. We had some nice times and we'll keep in contact. We have good affinity with one another I believe and we'll meet when we're meant to.
She said thanks for Diet for a New America but doesn't want to read the factory farm stuff. That's all good and fair. She is vegetarian anyway. Hopefully she'll enjoy the health stuff.
As I write this it's interesting over hearing my folks and sister talk. My Dad is speaking about the cruelty of the current killing of badgers for supposedly weeing on hey causing the cows to get ill. My Dad is saying why can't it be just fenced off properly rather than shooting them. My sister's reply was 'we need to all just become vegan'. It's cool to hear that as I write this as sad as it is.
I've started to The Lucky Ones by Jenny Brown. A very Veganesque book. About a lady's fight to help farm animals. It makes me so sad that so many people aren't able to open their eyes more. Again thinking back to the blog post about the hardest thing about being Vegan.
Monday, 26 August 2013
Monday 26th. Run. Meeting an old friend. Football, football culture, ego and now Vegan
Today I met with an old friend at 2pm for a drink in the pub. I stuck with soft drinks (see my other blog). I chatted with him and his girlfriend which was really cool. The only vegan thing that came up was him saying so I hear youre Vegan now. I just said yeah it's been a lifestyle change in the last year and it's worked out really well. There wasn't any judgement and it was just nice.
I got out for a run after. See my run blog. That went well.
Later I went to the football with my Dad. The first match for 4.5 years. It was funny how a lot went through my mind. I enjoyed the match. An interesting 0-0 draw and nice to be at my childhood teams ground 'Old Trafford' again.
I thought back to a few days ago when a friend posted something on the Vegan page of football fans celebrating with a slogan along the lines of 'how great would it be if these people could be so passionate about something that truly meant something'.
It made me think about what a big part of my life football has been. Getting so excited, in tears over matches and now I truly feel I have accessed a deeper part of me. The excitement is still there for football but I kind of realise there's something so ego about it. I feel there must be some soul in the art form but I feel 99% of what all fans feel is all about ego. I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant but it's my observation. It's all about attachment to. The excitement of the goal and winning.
It's strange to feel back on all that part of my life and wonder if it was all just a waste. What did it really mean in the great scheme of things. It was cool but maybe a lot was just surface that I misunderstood as having real depth. I thought of everyone in Old Trafford. Likely people who ate meat regularly. The small proportion of Vegans and that brainwashed mentality of giving it no thought at all but looking away.
In my spiritual development group we speak of working with the heart (subduing it) and that makes sense. Being vegan helps that so is such a great grounding in life. It stops that attachment to things like football for me I guess. I thought about the SAFE campaign of people holding the dead birds which I couldn't go to and made me think that that's what truly means something and a key to truly make a difference, by altering the foundations of how we eat.
Life is changing so much now. It's so weird to think of all the football arguments and the stupid dramas around it when it should never be like that. Great to really be looking at spiritual teachings and people like Gandhi and Einstein for what's important. I love how they talk about vegetarianism. It does seem like my Veganism is something so true in m life that really makes sense.
I got out for a run after. See my run blog. That went well.
Later I went to the football with my Dad. The first match for 4.5 years. It was funny how a lot went through my mind. I enjoyed the match. An interesting 0-0 draw and nice to be at my childhood teams ground 'Old Trafford' again.
I thought back to a few days ago when a friend posted something on the Vegan page of football fans celebrating with a slogan along the lines of 'how great would it be if these people could be so passionate about something that truly meant something'.
It made me think about what a big part of my life football has been. Getting so excited, in tears over matches and now I truly feel I have accessed a deeper part of me. The excitement is still there for football but I kind of realise there's something so ego about it. I feel there must be some soul in the art form but I feel 99% of what all fans feel is all about ego. I'm sorry if that sounds arrogant but it's my observation. It's all about attachment to. The excitement of the goal and winning.
It's strange to feel back on all that part of my life and wonder if it was all just a waste. What did it really mean in the great scheme of things. It was cool but maybe a lot was just surface that I misunderstood as having real depth. I thought of everyone in Old Trafford. Likely people who ate meat regularly. The small proportion of Vegans and that brainwashed mentality of giving it no thought at all but looking away.
In my spiritual development group we speak of working with the heart (subduing it) and that makes sense. Being vegan helps that so is such a great grounding in life. It stops that attachment to things like football for me I guess. I thought about the SAFE campaign of people holding the dead birds which I couldn't go to and made me think that that's what truly means something and a key to truly make a difference, by altering the foundations of how we eat.
Life is changing so much now. It's so weird to think of all the football arguments and the stupid dramas around it when it should never be like that. Great to really be looking at spiritual teachings and people like Gandhi and Einstein for what's important. I love how they talk about vegetarianism. It does seem like my Veganism is something so true in m life that really makes sense.
Sunday, 25 August 2013
23rd to 25th. Trip to Newcastle
Arrived and my friend had made a Vegan curry which was great. I was really grateful for their consideration and thanked them for this. There were only a few questions just asking about my becoming vegan and I was able to be very cool and calm about it. It was good that at no point did I feel I was being hassled or anything. It was interesting how they mentioned sometimes enjoying having some vegetarian food and mentioned too how one of their parents was quite anti vegan food if they were out and it was offered as an option... a kind of but none of us are vegetarian kind of response. It made me think again of that quite rigid thinking. I think too of the idea that eating meat is in fact a cult. I'm thinking this could be a topic to write more about. My friend in NZ had this same quite rigid thinking and is dominant in meat eating. I guess similarly without really knowing why and being closed to change. The meat eating cult again.
The next day we had a lunch out and it was easy for me to veganise a salad I had without the cheese that would've come with it. They had some soy milk in which was good so I was able to have some nice cereal and fruit which was cool. I appreciated that. My friends ate meat but I felt cool and happy that they were doing their thing and being respectful to mine.
It's interesting again though as deep down I don't ultimately respect people actually eating meat. well I respect the people but I don't feel they are aware enough to make the best choice. I've tried to understand this and I guess it's fair for me to understand and respect where people are at right now and that I can help them move forward. I get upset when people are judgemental of my Veganism when I guess I'm the same about them but the thing is it isn't each to their own as I've said before. We are leading the movement forward. Is it self righteous? well it's certainly righteous but I think self -righteous is a negative term. As Vegans we do guide the way forward for the way to eat. It's something I firmly believe doesn't have a counter argument ultimately, like Feminism doesn't or equal rights for black and white people doesn't. It's a positive social movement and we are pioneering this change. It's that responsibility I need to keep coming to terms with and proudly take on board as part of my responsibility to the world.
On Saturday night I made a curry from the step by step menu from the Revive book which was great and I sent them the recipe when I got back. I hope that can help them a bit. I did say you could put other things into it as I felt that was best to be kind and not indoctrinating but hope they can make a choice to have a vegan day or to make some even minor steps in that direction.
I felt great on Saturday night to not drink alcohol and had just one the day before (more in my other blog). I had a few dreams too which I think were linked to this. Again in my other alcohol blog.
This morning I was able to get lunch at a coffee shop and veganise their vegetarian breakfast by having battered potato rather than an egg. Was happy I came through it all well. I got the train back feeling all cool and calm like it had been a very pleasant weekend.
The next day we had a lunch out and it was easy for me to veganise a salad I had without the cheese that would've come with it. They had some soy milk in which was good so I was able to have some nice cereal and fruit which was cool. I appreciated that. My friends ate meat but I felt cool and happy that they were doing their thing and being respectful to mine.
It's interesting again though as deep down I don't ultimately respect people actually eating meat. well I respect the people but I don't feel they are aware enough to make the best choice. I've tried to understand this and I guess it's fair for me to understand and respect where people are at right now and that I can help them move forward. I get upset when people are judgemental of my Veganism when I guess I'm the same about them but the thing is it isn't each to their own as I've said before. We are leading the movement forward. Is it self righteous? well it's certainly righteous but I think self -righteous is a negative term. As Vegans we do guide the way forward for the way to eat. It's something I firmly believe doesn't have a counter argument ultimately, like Feminism doesn't or equal rights for black and white people doesn't. It's a positive social movement and we are pioneering this change. It's that responsibility I need to keep coming to terms with and proudly take on board as part of my responsibility to the world.
On Saturday night I made a curry from the step by step menu from the Revive book which was great and I sent them the recipe when I got back. I hope that can help them a bit. I did say you could put other things into it as I felt that was best to be kind and not indoctrinating but hope they can make a choice to have a vegan day or to make some even minor steps in that direction.
I felt great on Saturday night to not drink alcohol and had just one the day before (more in my other blog). I had a few dreams too which I think were linked to this. Again in my other alcohol blog.
This morning I was able to get lunch at a coffee shop and veganise their vegetarian breakfast by having battered potato rather than an egg. Was happy I came through it all well. I got the train back feeling all cool and calm like it had been a very pleasant weekend.
Thursday, 22 August 2013
22 August. Day out with family. Meal out at night
Had a great day out at a farm and at Tatton Park with the family. Ate good Vegan food throughout and enjoyed just connecting and feeling good and calm and patient throughout. The evening had a few interesting Vegan moments while all being great. We ate at a pizza place and I met a couple of old friends I hadn't seen for ages. I knew there were Vegan options so expressed before that the choice was all good with me.
I gave my order and asked for all to be Vegan and felt totally comfortable in me doing so. At the table my person to the left offered me some 'baby lamb' as a joke. Again it's strange how horrible it is to write but I know he totally didn't mean it in a horrible way. He's just not awake yet. My friends also had a mini chat about working at a fish market in Australia 10 years ago I was there too. They then kind of apologised part way through. I realised they were genuinely trying to be cool and sensitive but I actually worked there too and was able to say it was okay and actually chip in with a silly thing that happened to me while I worked there when a dead fish somehow slapped me on the face. Again gross to write now but it was funny at the time and fitted the tone.
I very comfortable had soft drinks all night probably the first time I've done that and feeling comfortable in me to do that was really cool. See my drinking blog for bit more detail.
In a pub later on there were beer mats unusually saying about what nutritional value you could get from eating insects. I didn't want to get into makor evolution discussion etc but my friend asked what I thought and I said it would seem to make sense that since we descended from apes that in the past eating insects could prove useful and be easily digested. Seemed fair enough.
We had a chat too about my Vegan cake I'd brought over to a friends house. It was again interesting as my friend spoke again totally from a good heart about if you could tell the difference and then wondering if it would be different from a 'normal cake'. It's funny how we learn to see that a chickens period in a cake is normality. Again not berating him at all, not coming from a bad place in anyway but just seeing things from that omnivore angle while making efforts. all in all a great Vegan evening. :)
I gave my order and asked for all to be Vegan and felt totally comfortable in me doing so. At the table my person to the left offered me some 'baby lamb' as a joke. Again it's strange how horrible it is to write but I know he totally didn't mean it in a horrible way. He's just not awake yet. My friends also had a mini chat about working at a fish market in Australia 10 years ago I was there too. They then kind of apologised part way through. I realised they were genuinely trying to be cool and sensitive but I actually worked there too and was able to say it was okay and actually chip in with a silly thing that happened to me while I worked there when a dead fish somehow slapped me on the face. Again gross to write now but it was funny at the time and fitted the tone.
I very comfortable had soft drinks all night probably the first time I've done that and feeling comfortable in me to do that was really cool. See my drinking blog for bit more detail.
In a pub later on there were beer mats unusually saying about what nutritional value you could get from eating insects. I didn't want to get into makor evolution discussion etc but my friend asked what I thought and I said it would seem to make sense that since we descended from apes that in the past eating insects could prove useful and be easily digested. Seemed fair enough.
We had a chat too about my Vegan cake I'd brought over to a friends house. It was again interesting as my friend spoke again totally from a good heart about if you could tell the difference and then wondering if it would be different from a 'normal cake'. It's funny how we learn to see that a chickens period in a cake is normality. Again not berating him at all, not coming from a bad place in anyway but just seeing things from that omnivore angle while making efforts. all in all a great Vegan evening. :)
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
end of 21 August
Had an incredibly powerful day today and felt emotional at the end. I had a good walk out today with Ric and took some great photos. It was later on when our family friends came over. We had a load of Vegan food and shared. I was asked as usual about being Vegan which was all cool. I'd bought my Dad 'Diet for a new america' and it was interesting how my Dad actually started to talk about how cruelly animals were treated and how we just turned a blind eye to it and talked about cows getting killed and how horrible it was.
My sister said she never knew he cared so much afterwards. My Mum said how he'd always loved animals. My sister and me then had a conversation about bringing a kid up Vegan which I said I thought was right and for me would be a no brainer. My Dad then said about how sad it was but how it wouldn't make a difference if we stopped eating them. I said how it would and how it would keep spreading outwards which was positive. My Mum then said about she looks at it as each to there own and I explained about it being like a movement similar to how Feminist movement helped women to get the vote and it was about helping others to see clearer.
I felt it was all cool and a good Vegan promoting evening mentally for everyone.
My sister said she never knew he cared so much afterwards. My Mum said how he'd always loved animals. My sister and me then had a conversation about bringing a kid up Vegan which I said I thought was right and for me would be a no brainer. My Dad then said about how sad it was but how it wouldn't make a difference if we stopped eating them. I said how it would and how it would keep spreading outwards which was positive. My Mum then said about she looks at it as each to there own and I explained about it being like a movement similar to how Feminist movement helped women to get the vote and it was about helping others to see clearer.
I felt it was all cool and a good Vegan promoting evening mentally for everyone.
20 August
Had a great 3.5 hour run. see details on my marathon blog. Felt good and energised.
Had a nice evening with Kelly at the comedy night again. Enjoyed eating lots of good Vegan food throughout the day.
Had a nice evening with Kelly at the comedy night again. Enjoyed eating lots of good Vegan food throughout the day.
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
19 August
On a trip out with the family to Castleton for a trip through the caves. Named comically 'The Devil's arse'. Was all really good and was nice to spend time with Gran particularly. Had loads of good Vegan food throughout the day and constantly feel stocked up on all the goodness I need and finding out more about nutrition etc which is always really enjoyable.
I read some of my You can do it Marathon book which I feel is definitely going to help me come through Auckland Marathon on 1 November. I also got some DHA pills delivered after doing quite a bit of research and realising a top up of this could be a healthy option for me at this point to be sure i'm really getting all I need.
It's been great how becoming Vegan has really gone hand in hand with constant interest and research into food and nutrition while at the same time enjoyiing cooking too (the cooking part atleast while I'm in NZ anyway)
I'm thinking when I get back to NZ I will be getting onto the Thrive diet idea by Brendan Brazier to help all the marathon stuff. I can tell how since I saw my folks last I am calmer and more compassionate. I know i have cultivated well in NZ. I feel it's my personal development group and then becoming Vegan which are key. Food really is thy medicine. I think too of that great study about the Vegan diet being used in a prison to great effect. It does seem like it constantly just filters out of my being :)
I read some of my You can do it Marathon book which I feel is definitely going to help me come through Auckland Marathon on 1 November. I also got some DHA pills delivered after doing quite a bit of research and realising a top up of this could be a healthy option for me at this point to be sure i'm really getting all I need.
It's been great how becoming Vegan has really gone hand in hand with constant interest and research into food and nutrition while at the same time enjoyiing cooking too (the cooking part atleast while I'm in NZ anyway)
I'm thinking when I get back to NZ I will be getting onto the Thrive diet idea by Brendan Brazier to help all the marathon stuff. I can tell how since I saw my folks last I am calmer and more compassionate. I know i have cultivated well in NZ. I feel it's my personal development group and then becoming Vegan which are key. Food really is thy medicine. I think too of that great study about the Vegan diet being used in a prison to great effect. It does seem like it constantly just filters out of my being :)
Sunday, 18 August 2013
18 August
Today I enjoyed meeting with Kelly for a good walk around Ashton and was good to talk a bit about Vegan life. In the evening I went to the Tao group in Sale and enjoyed chatting to Andrew. Was all pretty cool. Again just talking about Veganism was good. In the middle of the day I enjoyed getting some almonds and some brazil nuts. I love learning about nutrition and it was interesting reading about selenium and how a great source of this is brazil nuts. I'll start eating more.
Feeling pretty veganly sane for sure. Want to get more chia seed at some stage too. I've missed cooking a bit but overall has been nice to have family cook for me as a change for a while.
Feeling pretty veganly sane for sure. Want to get more chia seed at some stage too. I've missed cooking a bit but overall has been nice to have family cook for me as a change for a while.
17 August 2013. Meeting with 2 friends
Met with Stuart. He was just politely interested in my Veganism which was pretty cool. He told me openly about some things he enjoyed to eat such as duck eggs. He seemed interested in the whole idea how I'd got into Veganism from the personal development group as an idea of compassionate living. I could reflect on how my life has deepened since I moved away and became Vegan and how I got involved with the spiritual development group.
Met with another friend in the evening. I noticed a lot more here from the Vegan angle. I could think a lot again about the hardest part about being Vegan as quoted in the other post I did. How he's a great person but really doesn't think much about eating animals at all as I never did. I thought of a friends post on Facebook about Veganism not being a cult but actually meat eating being a cult since it is what we are just told to be true from being born as Vegan then not really knowing why we are doing it but defending it.
He by no means had a go at me in any sense, we are friends and he's a respectful guy but it was interesting how eating meat is just part of who he is and the things he said as I wrote in my other post about a friends partner eating folie gras sound narcissistic when written but I know from their tone it is just a blindness and a lack of awareness. This friend is a smart guy, smarter than me but yet was not able to see or morally engage on that level.
He mentioned how on Facebook lots of my friends seemed 'quite extreme' in their views. He mentioned about an animal 'not being a person, they don't have the same developed consciousness'. I let this go and he was being fun and jokey but while meaning it and I guess missing the point that this lesser consciousness doesn't mean they don't have a right to live since they clearly want to and we don't need to eat them. Again the whole idea of Vegans being extreme is funny to me now as I think of us eating a load of stuff that grows then think of images of a slaughter house.mmmmm which one is extreme ?
Similarly he mentioned at one point certain animals 'being useful to us'. I guess again a very speciesist attitude but more ingrained as his normal. I noticed too how he mentioned about some friends being vegetarian so didn't mind vegetarian food every now and again but didn't like having more than one vegan meal in a row as he would 'start to feel weak'. Again very interesting perception. The idea that somehow we need meat and it makes us strong. Again the complete brainwashed cult mentality we are just indoctrinated with which contains no truth.
Overall a very interesting day of seeing how Veganism plays out.
Met with another friend in the evening. I noticed a lot more here from the Vegan angle. I could think a lot again about the hardest part about being Vegan as quoted in the other post I did. How he's a great person but really doesn't think much about eating animals at all as I never did. I thought of a friends post on Facebook about Veganism not being a cult but actually meat eating being a cult since it is what we are just told to be true from being born as Vegan then not really knowing why we are doing it but defending it.
He by no means had a go at me in any sense, we are friends and he's a respectful guy but it was interesting how eating meat is just part of who he is and the things he said as I wrote in my other post about a friends partner eating folie gras sound narcissistic when written but I know from their tone it is just a blindness and a lack of awareness. This friend is a smart guy, smarter than me but yet was not able to see or morally engage on that level.
He mentioned how on Facebook lots of my friends seemed 'quite extreme' in their views. He mentioned about an animal 'not being a person, they don't have the same developed consciousness'. I let this go and he was being fun and jokey but while meaning it and I guess missing the point that this lesser consciousness doesn't mean they don't have a right to live since they clearly want to and we don't need to eat them. Again the whole idea of Vegans being extreme is funny to me now as I think of us eating a load of stuff that grows then think of images of a slaughter house.mmmmm which one is extreme ?
Similarly he mentioned at one point certain animals 'being useful to us'. I guess again a very speciesist attitude but more ingrained as his normal. I noticed too how he mentioned about some friends being vegetarian so didn't mind vegetarian food every now and again but didn't like having more than one vegan meal in a row as he would 'start to feel weak'. Again very interesting perception. The idea that somehow we need meat and it makes us strong. Again the complete brainwashed cult mentality we are just indoctrinated with which contains no truth.
Overall a very interesting day of seeing how Veganism plays out.
Saturday, 17 August 2013
rest of 16 August
Had a great one hour run last night and dinner leftovers with some potatoes. Spent time in the evening relaxing and reading my new running book by Jeff Galloway which seemed really inspiring. I spoke to people from the Manchester Tao group which was good so may see them on sunday I think could be cool. Today I'm about to go and meet with Stuart and will see Dave later. Will likely have a couple of halves. Still rather not drink at all but it is being phased out. All linking with my new blogs I started yesterday as I prepare for my first marathon and doing it as a Vegan person and giving up alcohol.
Friday, 16 August 2013
15th night and 16th morning
Had an interesting night out with 2 friends last night. Was actually good on the whole while making me realise I'm in that phase of just becoming more strongly Vegan over time and becoming the new me more and more. We went to 3 pubs and I have to just admit I didn't feel strongly enough in my new identity to not drink alcohol although did my best to search for Vegan beers. Whereas I'm confortable on the whole as a Vegan I'm not comfortable in my pretty much non drinking self. That's something that's still developing.
I had a bottle of Peroni and 2 bottles on Tiger. I knew Tiger was Vegan and found out today Peroni was which made me happy. The atmosphere was actually really pleasant and I wasn't drunk enough to fall into silly arguments. I imagine if my other friend from NZ had been there that could've happenend. I'm just a bit annoyed I didn't feel good enough to go for a run today. I feel though maybe between now and my next visit here I will more solidify myself as a non drinker I feel and hope anyway. Whereas I do enjoy the little buzz to some degree it is something I have crowded out and just enjoy the feeling without it more and my greater sense of clarity e.g. going for a run this morning would've felt good.
While out I was asked about if I stopped buying stuff like leather which I replied I had. There was a bit of conversation happened to come up somehow about animals being killed and I was able to mention Earthlings. Not in an indoctrinating way but just a passing on of information. I said I would recommend anyone watch it once. It seems it planted the seed.
It was interesting as I really noticed the whole thing I read in this blog 'The hardest thing about being vegan' about well meaning people just not being interested or being blinded to think it's okay to eat animals. In a totally non narcissistic way as we briefly discussed Earthings my friend asked what animals you see being killed and I said about the cows, chickens etc. My friend said jokingly, oh just ones that are food then.
It was really interesting. My friend is just a really good guy and writing this now makes it sound like a deliberate cruel thing to say but I could tell from the way he said it there wasn't any knowing genuine malice at all in his voice or attitude. He just hasn't woke up yet.
we walked around and my friends made a couple of jokes about the different shops such as the cheese shop which I would have no use for. All of this actually felt pretty good natured humour which didn't bother me. I was happy though I hadn't drank more and another friend wasnt there as I think I could've potentially bought into more of an argument which he no doubt would've pushed so I'll be careful when I see him back in NZ.
My friend also told me about his girlfriend having a Folie Gras burger. I couldn't remember what it was but then remembered. He joked about how this is made. It really saddens me writing this because again I know he's not a malicious person at all but is just completely desensitised to this and just sees it as the norm as so many others do. I kind of shrugged it off with a joke 'Noooooo!!!'
I hope between now and my next trip I can become stronger in me as a Vegan and in my non drinker identity. That seems the way forward. Although drinking isn't non vegan it somehow seems to go hand in hand to work to eliminate it due to being more conscious and spiritual perhaps. Maybe then I can be a better Vegan advocate too and be taken more seriously. All a step at a time I guess.
I'm happy I definitely won't be drinking alcohol today.
I had a bottle of Peroni and 2 bottles on Tiger. I knew Tiger was Vegan and found out today Peroni was which made me happy. The atmosphere was actually really pleasant and I wasn't drunk enough to fall into silly arguments. I imagine if my other friend from NZ had been there that could've happenend. I'm just a bit annoyed I didn't feel good enough to go for a run today. I feel though maybe between now and my next visit here I will more solidify myself as a non drinker I feel and hope anyway. Whereas I do enjoy the little buzz to some degree it is something I have crowded out and just enjoy the feeling without it more and my greater sense of clarity e.g. going for a run this morning would've felt good.
While out I was asked about if I stopped buying stuff like leather which I replied I had. There was a bit of conversation happened to come up somehow about animals being killed and I was able to mention Earthlings. Not in an indoctrinating way but just a passing on of information. I said I would recommend anyone watch it once. It seems it planted the seed.
It was interesting as I really noticed the whole thing I read in this blog 'The hardest thing about being vegan' about well meaning people just not being interested or being blinded to think it's okay to eat animals. In a totally non narcissistic way as we briefly discussed Earthings my friend asked what animals you see being killed and I said about the cows, chickens etc. My friend said jokingly, oh just ones that are food then.
It was really interesting. My friend is just a really good guy and writing this now makes it sound like a deliberate cruel thing to say but I could tell from the way he said it there wasn't any knowing genuine malice at all in his voice or attitude. He just hasn't woke up yet.
we walked around and my friends made a couple of jokes about the different shops such as the cheese shop which I would have no use for. All of this actually felt pretty good natured humour which didn't bother me. I was happy though I hadn't drank more and another friend wasnt there as I think I could've potentially bought into more of an argument which he no doubt would've pushed so I'll be careful when I see him back in NZ.
My friend also told me about his girlfriend having a Folie Gras burger. I couldn't remember what it was but then remembered. He joked about how this is made. It really saddens me writing this because again I know he's not a malicious person at all but is just completely desensitised to this and just sees it as the norm as so many others do. I kind of shrugged it off with a joke 'Noooooo!!!'
I hope between now and my next trip I can become stronger in me as a Vegan and in my non drinker identity. That seems the way forward. Although drinking isn't non vegan it somehow seems to go hand in hand to work to eliminate it due to being more conscious and spiritual perhaps. Maybe then I can be a better Vegan advocate too and be taken more seriously. All a step at a time I guess.
I'm happy I definitely won't be drinking alcohol today.
Thursday, 15 August 2013
14 August and bit of 15th (7:30 pm)
Had a relaxed evening last night watching 'The girl next door' which was fun. I was feeling not so great I think it was hayfever so had a pill. Today again I've felt a little bored and missed NZ a bit. I spoke with my Doctor to see if I could get a DHA test and then had to explain to him what DHA was again showing how little Doctors know about nutrition and any kind of natural health. Was quite amusing but bad too. I managed to get some pills online for a good deal. It does seem like the body converts it to atleast some degree but Vegan experts sometimes recommend a supplement too. I figure you can't be too careful and do value my own piece of mind
http://www.nuique.com/omega3/
http://veganhealth.org/
Here are a couple of links. One is to get the DHA pills and the other is by Jack Norris who writes about Vegan nutrition, etc.
I met with Karl and Barbara today which was nice. Great to see them both again and treat them to lunch.
Meeting with Ric etc tonight which should be nice. I enjoyed connecting with a few Vegan friends on Facebook today. I didn't go out for a run as still not feeling 100% after last night.
Again I'm missing NZ and was good to get that feeling supported from a friend back in NZ. Really want to have a soft drink night again tonight. I just feel so much better like that.
Was good to send my latest ebay sales today. I do almost feel a bit lost for stuff to do at points. Tomorrow will be good to have another day out. It is all that not feeling an actual connection with being. My trip is all about seeing people.
I've booked my ticket to Newcastle and feel quite good with the upcoming plans and like I'm doing the best I can with my time here. It doesn't excite me unbelievably much but I am doing the best I can/ :)
http://www.nuique.com/omega3/
http://veganhealth.org/
Here are a couple of links. One is to get the DHA pills and the other is by Jack Norris who writes about Vegan nutrition, etc.
I met with Karl and Barbara today which was nice. Great to see them both again and treat them to lunch.
Meeting with Ric etc tonight which should be nice. I enjoyed connecting with a few Vegan friends on Facebook today. I didn't go out for a run as still not feeling 100% after last night.
Again I'm missing NZ and was good to get that feeling supported from a friend back in NZ. Really want to have a soft drink night again tonight. I just feel so much better like that.
Was good to send my latest ebay sales today. I do almost feel a bit lost for stuff to do at points. Tomorrow will be good to have another day out. It is all that not feeling an actual connection with being. My trip is all about seeing people.
I've booked my ticket to Newcastle and feel quite good with the upcoming plans and like I'm doing the best I can with my time here. It doesn't excite me unbelievably much but I am doing the best I can/ :)
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
Tuesday 13 August and bit of 14 August
Don't think I did so much in the day time other than a bit of reading and using the computer. I got a little bored in fact and did a bit of reflecting using by dictaphone about how happy I am living in NZ while at the same time making the very very best of my trip here. I had a great evening with Kelly at the comedy night at Jabez Clegg. Was really funny. Again keeping completely and utterly veganly sane throughout has been great.
I'm writing this on 14 August and now I'm researching a bit into DHA and am getting a bloodtest to see mine is okay. I was reading some criticism on the internet of the China Study and although I don't wholly support that book I do feel the criticism was poor on the whole. Nonetheless I will keep researching. I kind of can't be bothered getting my DHA checked now but will go through with it and keep moving forward however. I do feel I would have really let myself down somehow if I ever stopped being Vegan. Being a good healthy member of the Vegan population is paramount to me.
It was good today (14th) to get out for a short run for 30 minutes and to think a bit about doing the marathon and doing a marathon blog. I've been thinking on my tattoo also and it does seem to be something I feel I have to go through with somehow. It just seems part of me becoming more me. I don't feel I'd get another after this one but this one does seem to make sense for me somehow.
I'm enjoying using my dictaphone more to record different thoughts around what's going on. Today we went to the caves in Stockport which were really cool and interesting.
I'm writing this on 14 August and now I'm researching a bit into DHA and am getting a bloodtest to see mine is okay. I was reading some criticism on the internet of the China Study and although I don't wholly support that book I do feel the criticism was poor on the whole. Nonetheless I will keep researching. I kind of can't be bothered getting my DHA checked now but will go through with it and keep moving forward however. I do feel I would have really let myself down somehow if I ever stopped being Vegan. Being a good healthy member of the Vegan population is paramount to me.
It was good today (14th) to get out for a short run for 30 minutes and to think a bit about doing the marathon and doing a marathon blog. I've been thinking on my tattoo also and it does seem to be something I feel I have to go through with somehow. It just seems part of me becoming more me. I don't feel I'd get another after this one but this one does seem to make sense for me somehow.
I'm enjoying using my dictaphone more to record different thoughts around what's going on. Today we went to the caves in Stockport which were really cool and interesting.
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